Eideard

How’s this for performance-related pay?

Nigeria, having beaten favourites Ivory Coast, are now down to the final four of this year’s African Cup of Nations.

And on top of the usual national pride yadda yadda blah blah, the Super Eagles’ football players will also be in line for a week of free sex from the country’s prostitutes, should they emerge victorious.

The official Association of Nigerian Prostitutes’ secretary Jessica Elvis said: “We want to congratulate the Nigerian national team, the Super Eagles, for qualifying for the next round of the competition.

“To show our support for the national team, we’ll be declaring one week of free sex if the Super Eagles can win the trophy.”

Well – the Super Eagles defeated Mali, yesterday, in their semi-final. No doubt they’re resting up for the Final. And possible payback!