Category: Humor

Dumb crook of the day

Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found in yet another stolen car.

Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen car cases.

St. Petersburg police say officers found a stolen Infiniti on Sunday. Inside, they found Butler’s documents related to a June auto theft arrest.

Detectives contacted Butler, who arranged to pick them up. When he arrived at police headquarters, a detective arrested Butler and found keys to a Hyundai Sonata in his pocket. The car was located a block away.

It, too, had been reported stolen.

Butler is being held without bond

Cripes! They got the kid on a three-fer.

Christian nutball leader changes End of Days prediction from yesterday to “soon”

The leader of a Christian group who claimed that the world would end on Wednesday has admitted his prediction was “incorrect”…Chris McCann, head of the eBible fellowship, warned that the planet would be destroyed “with fire” on 7 October. This did not happen.

“Since it is now 8 October it is now obvious that we were incorrect regarding the world’s ending on the 7th,” McCann said.

McCann originally told the Guardian that by Thursday the world would be “gone forever: annihilated”. McCann based his claim on an earlier prediction by Christian radio host Harold Camping, who said the world would end on 21 May 2011. Camping’s forecast also turned out to be incorrect…

In case you didn’t notice.

“…It was surprising that it did not occur. But the comforting thing is that God’s will is always perfect.”…

While the world did not end, McCann said on Thursday it would be obliterated “soon”.

“I also know that God knows exactly when that end will come,” he said. “So we’ll keep studying the Bible to see what we can learn.”

Trying to make decisions about reality based upon a 14th Century book written by a Royal committee requires several levels of logical fallacy. Not that logic or reality has much to do with the whole End of Days delusion.

Copper parks in tall grass after stopping motorcycle — car goes up in flames

A witness to the intense fire said the police officer pulled over a speeding motorbike rider at the intersection of Wivenhoe-Somerset Drive and Northbrook Parkway near Mount Glorious but when the bike took off again, it looked like the officer tried to give chase.

“Next minute the bloody cop car drives down the bank,” truck driver David Hunn said…

The Logan resident, who’d been out for a ride on his own motorbike, said the bike rider had stopped about 50 metres up the road.

He said by the time the police officer had “scrambled” up the bank and yelled at the rider to stop, there was smoke coming from the long grass under the unmarked car, likely from the hot exhaust pipe.

The 65-year-old said it was only minutes before flames had completely engulfed the car, which was eventually left a blackened shell.

“It was long grass so the car was basically nestled in the grass,” Mr Hunn said.

“It just caught fire straight away basically.”…

Mr Hunn described the stretch of road coming down from Mount Glorious as “a racetrack at the best of times” and accused both the motorcyclist and policeman of driving like maniacs.

“The bike came around me and I thought ‘shit he’s going quick’,” he said,

“The next minute, the bloody car came past me with no siren on. He was going like a bat out of hell.”

Mr Hunn said according to the rider’s friends they were going as much as 180km/h and the police car was catching up with the bike.

He said the officer caught up with the bike at the T-intersection, where he cut him off and attempted to block him in…

“If he’d kept the speed down a bit and saw which way it was going, he could have had the posse out and waiting for him because a bloody radio’s quicker than a bloody motorbike.”

A mate of mine down in Oz sent me this. Don’t know how he stopped laughing long enough to press the send key.

Yes, he’s a biker.

Thanks, Honeyman

2015 Ig-Nobel Prizewinners

Always worth checking out. My favorite, this year –

Is “Huh?” a Universal Word? Conversational Infrastructure and the Convergent Evolution of Linguistic Items — A study supported by European Research Council grants.

But, wait, there’s more. Many more. All worth a chortle.

A chemistry award for partially unboiling an egg; pretty much all mammals take the same time to pee; an economics award for offering cash to coppers who turn down bribes.

And on and on.