Category: Humor

How NOT to kill a spider

Fire officials say a West Seattle man was using a lighter and a can of spray paint to kill a spider in his laundry room when the house went up in flames.

Fire crews were called to a home in the 10200 block of 34th Avenue SW just before 8:30 p.m. on Tuesday.

Firefighters originally battled the blaze from a distance after learning there may be ammunition inside. Crews were eventually able to extinguish the fire, but not before it did significant damage to the structure.

A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn’t able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

“I don’t want to encourage people to do this, but that’s what he did,” Moore said. “The spider tried to get into the wall. He sprayed flames on the wall, lit the wall on fire, and that extended up to the ceiling…”

There are safer, more effective ways to kill a spider than using fire,” Moore said. “Fire is not the method to use to kill a spider.”

BTW, Kyle Moore from the Seattle Fire Department opined, “I’m pretty sure the spider did not survive this fire…”

Thanks, Mike

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Having fun in Denmark

Here’s the simplest idea for a theme park ride yet. In fact, it’s not even a “ride” at all, unless you count the elevator trip up. The Sky Tower in Tivoli Friheden, Denmark, is an actual free fall, with no ropes or kill switch. You go up 100 feet, get strapped into a safety harness just for the short time it takes to get from the platform to a hang over the edge, then the harness is unhooked. It takes a mere second to get back down. Guaranteed to cure you of ever thinking about what it would be like to jump from a building. This video shows the experience from all angles.

Thanks, Ursarodinia

Colbert lampoons Steve Pearce – New Mexico’s primo Republican hypocrite

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Like any politician skewered by Colbert, Pearce has now passed beyond the deer-in-the-headlights stage and has his minions running hither and yon – trying to soften the effect of Colbert and his army of fans who laugh at what passes for a conservative in 21st Century America.

Thanks to Steve Terrell

Mayfly hatch blankets towns along the Mississippi River

Residents along the Mississippi River would rather do without this rite of summer, the annual mayfly hatch that fills the air with insects and leaves surfaces of cars and just about everything else with a slimy mess.

A hatch starting at about 8:45 p.m. CT Sunday was so prolific that it created a bow echo on radar, similar to one that would be made in a significant rainstorm, according to the La Crosse, Wis., office of the National Weather Service. A weather service employee captured some images of the short-lived insects covering nearly everything in their path…

Typically, mayflies emerge in three or four hatches from June to August along the upper Mississippi, but water temperature plays a big role in when the larvae mature. The delay of warm weather in the spring may have contributed to Sunday’s massive, simultaneous hatch.

Up and down the river, the mayfly hatch has been a problem. About 80 miles upriver from here, police in Trenton, Wis., say mayflies may have triggered a three-vehicle crash Sunday…

The road about 50 miles southeast of Minneapolis had become slick from the mayflies Sunday evening, causing at least one of the drivers involved in the crash to lose control of her vehicle. Visibility was limited at the time of the crash because to the massive cloud of mayflies in the air, police said.

RTFA article and enjoy the video of LaCrosse radar recording a flying infestation as dense as a rainstorm. :)

Republican makes AIDS, “Gay Agenda” demented campaign issues

As far as hot button issues are concerned, the Republican primary race for governor has been a snooze, with the four candidates steering clear of controversy like gay marriage. But that’s not the case in a couple of legislative primary contests…

In house district 30B in Wright County, Kevin Kasel is challenging Eric Lucero, who won the party’s endorsement, in part, by criticizing incumbent David FitzSimmons’ vote for same sex marriage.

Then there’s Carver County’s house district 47A, where Waconia Mayor Jim Nash is facing off against Norwood Young America businessman Bob Frey, a race in which “sodomy” has become one of the campaign issues…

…When questioned about his position on social issues, Frey added that it “does certainly need to be addressed for what it is. It’s not about the gay agenda but about the science and the financial impact of that agenda. It’s more about sodomy than about pigeonholing a lifestyle.”

Frey then explained his view: “When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there’s an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg. If the sperm is deposited anally, it’s the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail. That’s why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.”

(This explanation of AIDS has no scientific validity, but it may strike a familiar chord: It is essentially the same one given by Bob’s son, Mike Frey, in testimony given before the House Civil Law Committee last year during the debate over gay marriage.)

Like a lot of nutballs who rely on junk science for part of their ideology, Frey is on record stating that the fossil record proves that dinosaurs have always lived alongside man…in the course of his campaign to have the teaching of evolution removed from school curricula, he also claims the Sun is shrinking at a rate of five feet an hour.

Thanks, Mike

Drunk busted for posing as TSA screener and groping women passengers

A California man was arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness after he allegedly posed as a Transportation Security Administration screener and conducted pat-downs at San Francisco International Airport.

Eric Slighton, who was wearing khaki pants and a blue polo instead of a TSA uniform, was allegedly able to grope two women he brought into a private booth for pat-downs.

His outfit was similar to those of a private security firm that conducts screenings at the airport. He may have donned a pair of plastic blue security gloves to help him look like an agent, CBS San Francisco reported.

Actual security staff members figured out something was amiss because male agents are not supposed to pat down female passengers without a female agent present…

He was arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness

The drunk was a ticketed passenger; so, that’s how he got to the TSA screening area.

I thought airport screeners, TSA or private security, were supposed to have visible ID. If so, the other screeners certainly didn’t have their brains switched on if they didn’t notice the absence of credentials.

Meanwhile, life in the cloud cuckoo-land of obedient America proceeds as usual.

Japanese artist jailed for kayak replicating her vagina


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A Japanese artist who made figures of Lady Gaga and a kayak modeled on her vagina said on Wednesday from jail she was “outraged” by her arrest and vowed a court fight against obscenity charges.

Megumi Igarashi, 42, says she was challenging a culture of “discrimination” against discussion of the vagina in Japanese society.

Igarashi, who worked under the alias Rokudenashiko, which means “good-for-nothing girl” in Japanese, built a yellow kayak with a top shaped like her vagina after raising about $10,000 through crowdfunding.

Igarashi sent 3D printer data of her scanned vagina – the digital basis for her kayak project – as a thanks to a number of donors.

She was arrested for distributing indecent material on Saturday and faces up to two years in prison and a fine of up to $25,000.

Igarashi said about 10 police officers had arrived at her house on Saturday and initially, she thought they were only interested in confiscating work she has said is meant as a pop-art exploration of the “manko”, vulgar Japanese slang for vagina.

“I couldn’t stop myself from laughing a little as I explained to the grim-looking officers, ‘This is the Lady Gaga ‘manko’ figure’,” Igarashi told Reuters from across a plastic security divide in a central Tokyo jail.

“I did not expect to get arrested at all. Even as they were confiscating my works, I thought to myself, ‘This will be a good story’. Then they handcuffed and arrested me. Now, I just feel outraged…”

Igarashi has touched off a debate on both women’s rights and the freedom of artistic expression, said Kazuyuki Minami, her lead defense lawyer.

The legal definition of what counts as obscenity is vague in Japan, and the key point of debate will be deciding whether the vagina itself can be considered obscene, said Minami…

A 1951 Supreme Court case broadly defined obscenity as something that stimulates desire and violates an ordinary person’s sense of sexual shame and morality.

Just like political idjits, bigoted idjits, even musical idjits – every nation seems to have its share of sensual and sexual idjits. Japan, obviously, is no exception.

Airbus patents new airline seat designed for pain and profit

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Last month, Airbus filed a patent for a new kind of airline seat, called a “seating device comprising a forward-foldable backrest.” This is a revolutionary idea that will enable them to pack more people onto a flight by eliminating that silly cushioned seat that can double as a flotation device and replace it with a foldable bicycle seat. The backrest will be a tiny lumbar support. No more tray, which you don’t need because they don’t serve meals on planes anyway. No more armrests, since you and your seat mate fight over them anyway.

Airbus openly acknowledges that packing more passengers on board is going to result in reduced comfort, and that the goal is basically to figure out how far they can go without inciting an airborne revolt.

Reduced comfort remains tolerable for the passengers in as much as the flight lasts only one or a few hours,” Airbus sagely calculates…

With the advent of TSA and the Department of Homeland Insecurity I don’t fly, anymore. So, unless car and truck manufacturers become equally demented, I shouldn’t have to confront this insanity.

For the rest of you? Good luck. And here’s an historic alternative:

airbus seating

Thanks, Ursarodinia