Eideard

With laptops open like shields against the encroaching cameramen, the young men resembled Peter Pan’s Lost Boys more than Captain Hook’s buccaneers when they were introduced Monday as Berlin’s newest legislators: They are the members of the Pirate Party.

Asked if they were just some chaotic troop of troublemakers, Christopher Lauer, newly voted in as a state lawmaker for the district of Pankow, replied with no lack of confidence, “You ought to wait for the first session in the house of representatives.”

By winning 8.9 percent of the vote in Sunday’s election in this city-state, these political pirates surpassed — blew away, really — every expectation for what was supposed to be a fringe, one-issue party promoting Internet freedom. The Pirates so outstripped expectations that all 15 candidates on their list won seats…

These men in their 20s and 30s, who turned up at the imposing former Prussian state parliament building, some wearing hooded sweatshirts, and one a T-shirt of the comic book hero Captain America, were no longer merely madcap campaigners and gadflies. They had become the people’s elected representatives…

“They are absolutely not a joke party,” said Christoph Bieber, a professor of political science at the University of Duisburg-Essen. While there was certainly an element of protest in the unexpectedly large share of the votes the Pirates won, they were filling a real need for voters outside the political mainstream who felt unrepresented. “In the Internet, they have really found an underexploited theme that the other political parties are not dealing with,” Mr. Bieber said.

The state election in Berlin on Sunday was full of surprising results. The pro-business Free Democrats, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s coalition partners in the federal Parliament, crashed and burned, again, receiving less than 2 percent of the vote. That is well below the 5 percent needed to remain in the statehouse. The Green Party continued to build on its recent successes and may well become one of the governing parties in Berlin.

While issues like online privacy and data protection may seem incredibly narrow, even irrelevant, to older voters, for young people who often spend half their waking hours online, much of it on social networking sites where they share their most intimate moments, it is anything but a small issue. And the Pirates’ call for complete transparency in politics resonates powerfully with a generation disillusioned by the American case for war in Iraq and galvanized by WikiLeaks’ promise to put an end to secrecy.

The Pirates’ surprisingly strong showing came as further evidence of voter dissatisfaction in Germany with the established parties, and what many see as their inability to look beyond self-interest and focus instead on the needs of their constituents…

The effort made to build a sustainable Germany after World War 2 included a reliance on democracy long ago subverted in the United States. In almost every state, the deck is thoroughly stacked against a minor party getting on the ballot. And the 2-Party private club owns all the people who administer and regulate the process. Still, these folks are an inspiration.

Of course, the number of articles appearing on radio and TV, in mass media newspapers across the USA – relating the tale of this minority miracle – is less than coverage of the average NFL quarterback developing a hangnail on his throwing hand.

A German couple have been taken to court because their bed made too much noise during their lovemaking.

Stefanie Mueller, 24, faced a fine for one night of passion with partner Lucas Zetsch, 25, that woke up the neighbourhood.

Police said they received ten complains from neighbours of the pair in the Berlin suburb of Lichtenberg on the night in question in July this year.

The pair were summoned under anti noise-pollution laws but they refused to pay the £86 penalty.

This led to a court hearing in Berlin where Miss Mueller, a hotel worker, said; “We weren’t that loud.” The judge said; “Perhaps not you, but your bed. We have witness statements that it was heard banging and squeaking around the neighbourhood from 11.30pm until 1.00am the next morning.” Mr Zetsch told the court: “It was totally normal sex, nothing exciting” – a remark which earned him a scornful look from Miss Mueller, who snapped: “Thanks – that was nice.” Then she left the court.

The judge threw the case out as the complainants did not show up for the hearing.

Har!

For tourists tired of traditional sightseeing tours, one Berlin tour guide is offering something altogether different: a tour of Berlin’s public conveniences.

Tour guide Anna Haase wanted to take visitors to Berlin off the beaten track and came up with the novel idea of showing them some of the German capital’s most famous toilets.

She takes groups around the city’s lavatories, telling them about the history of the toilet’s development from biblical times to the present day and showing them toilets ranging from the oldest and most primitive to the newest and most technical…

Highlights of the tour include a visit to a toilet block dating from the late 19th century and a trip to the Kaiser’s fully restored bathroom at the Potsdamer Platz square…

In keeping with the tour’s theme, the meeting point is at the 19th century toilet block at the Gendarmenmarkt square, whilst a restaurant called ‘The Loo’ is the finishing point.

There tourists are shown a Japanese automatic toilet which costs as much as a small car, according to Haase.

I sure she’s talking about the top of the line from Toto. I’d love to have one in my bathroom. The critters cost about $5 grand.

Two women have been arrested on suspicion of trying to smuggle the body of a dead relative onto an easyJet flight to Germany.

The pair were reported to have told staff at Liverpool John Lennon airport that the 91-year-old man was asleep, after pushing him into the terminal in a wheelchair and covering his face with sunglasses.

The alleged attempt to get the man on board a flight to Berlin ended in their arrest on suspicion of failing to give notification of death.

Police are investigating claims the women ferried the body in a taxi from their home in Oldham, Greater Manchester.

EasyJet said two women passengers had arrived at the airport on Saturday to check in for the EZY 7223 flight to Berlin, “with an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair”. Its statement added: “On arrival at the airport, staff were immediately concerned about his health and the first aid team were called. It was then discovered the passenger was in fact deceased and the police were called.”

Har! Where’s Monty Python when you need ‘em?

Children in the German capital Berlin are to be exempt from strict laws on noise pollution.

An amendment to the city’s law now makes it “fundamentally and socially tolerable” for members of the younger generation to make a racket.

Berlin has become the first of Germany’s 16 federal states to adopt such legislation.

But all Berliners – children included – must continue to respect the official quiet time at night and all day Sunday.

Until now, only church bells, emergency sirens, snow ploughs and tractors have fallen outside the stringent rules on excessive noise in Germany.

Now Berlin’s local government, the senate, has passed a law giving children the right to be noisy, the first law of its kind in Germany.

Axel Strohbusch, from Berlin’s Department of Noise Protection, said it was “the first time we have it written in law that we have to consider the rights of children to shout and make noise while they are growing up and this must be considered by all the neighbours”.

It’s inconceivable to me that someone would legislate quietness for children. It’s a great reason not to live next to an elementary school; but – turning nature on its head never accomplishes very much good.

Jürgen Stiller regularly stands outside Berlin’s historic Friedrichstrasse train station with a four-pound canister of flammable propane strapped to his back. But if a police officer approaches him, it is only to buy one of the hot bratwurst sizzling on the flaming grill suspended from his shoulders.

Mr. Stiller works as a Grillwalker, a one-man mobile sausage-cooking machine. He and his colleagues can be seen around the capital, turning their browning bratwursts with tongs and tempting pedestrians with the scent of cooking meat wafting from their grills…

They are a hit with local commuters thanks to the low price — an inexpensive $1.75 for a bratwurst in a roll with mustard or ketchup. Tourists unaccustomed to seeing a kitchen stroll around on two feet gawk, gape and take pictures. Mr. Stiller estimated that he is photographed more than 30 times a day…

After losing his job in hotel management in 1997, Bertram Rohloff wanted to open a stand to sell sandwiches, but found he could not get the necessary permits to set up shop. So instead he envisaged an evolution in food-preparation technology, a step beyond the rolling hot-dog cart, because without the necessary permits, neither the grill nor the sausages could touch the ground…

As he worked on the invention, Mr. Rohloff considered everything from burning charcoal to hooking the grill up to a car battery — which he rejected because it would run down in just 10 minutes — before settling on propane. He designed it with an automatic cut-off mechanism for the gas, to ensure that it was safe in the event of an accident.

Mr. Rohloff was the first person to don his invention and sell bratwurst on the street. He now has 15 employees selling sausages around the city in teams of two; they take turns wearing the grill and reloading the sausages, rolls and condiments.

Cripes. I know one dude who would do this in a Santa Fe minute on the Plaza.

Santa Fe minute? That’s roughly an hour anywhere else.

The Germans have always been one step ahead of the rest of us when it comes to the environment. They are European champions when it comes to wind power, recycling rates and installing combined heat and power boilers. The German chancellor, Angela Merkel, is a former environment minister.

So it should come as no surprise to learn that a German businessman has pushed the concept of green rebates to the next logical level: Thomas Goetz, owner of a Berlin brothel called Maison d’Envie, is currently offering a discount to any customer who arrives by bicycle or public transport.

“The recession has hit our industry hard,” Goetz told Reuters. “Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people. It’s good for business, it’s good for the environment – and it’s good for the girls…”

In the name of research, I had a quick look around the brothel’s website to verify that the offer really does exist, and, yes, there it is in black and white. “The Maison d’Envie offers one major advantage over other establishments: it is perfectly accessible by public transport. Both S-and U-Bahn stations are within walking distance and well-maintained bicycle paths also allow for a more environmentally friendly journey. And because we want to reward your green commitment, we have – and it’s unique in Berlin – an environmental discount.” It’s the sort of statement you might expect to hear from your local council, not an establishment – very much legal in Germany – that offers the services of “nice, motivated models” in a “very pleasant, almost family atmosphere”.

It seems to be working, though, as Goetz says the offer is attracting three to five new customers every day, adding that the incentive has helped to reduce traffic and parking congestion in the local area.

Is this the kind of economic incentive required to get you to act, uh, Greener?

Daylife/Reuters Pictures

…You didn’t miss much.

Berlin officials say they have rescued 1,500 parakeets from a two-room apartment.

City veterinarian Margit Platzer says the birds were flying freely around the apartment, which was “littered with feces, feathers and leftover food.” Platzer says it took her team more than seven hours on Tuesday to catch all the birds with nets.

The retired man, who was not identified, could face charges for endangering the animals’ safety and health.

Needless to say, endangering the safety and health of his neighbors. Phew!

The largest synagogue in Germany has reopened after restoration to its condition before Kristallnacht, a night of anti-Jewish violence in 1938.

One of the guests at the reopening ceremony Friday at the Ryke Street Synagogue in Berlin was Rabbi Leo Trepp, who preached there in the 1930s, The Jerusalem Post reported. The rabbi, now 94, was sent to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp.

“It is a miracle that there are Jews in Germany again,” Trepp said. “And the synagogue on Rykestrasse, which survived two different regimes, is the symbol of that miracle.”

The synagogue was heavily damaged on Kristallnacht or the Night of Broken Glass but was not burned, apparently because a fire would have spread to nearby buildings. The congregation continued to hold services there until 1940.

When World War II ended, the building was used to house Jewish refugees until 1953 and then became the principal synagogue in East Berlin.

I can imagine the feelings of folks who attended the reopening and dedication.

I’ve been to the Nozyk Synagogue in Warsaw – which survived the Holocaust and the Warsaw Uprising – and your mind plays all the tricks of history and Hell upon your perceptions. So beautiful and so sad at the same time.