Eideard

Spanish police have arrested a man said to have smuggled himself in a case on to Barcelona airport coaches in order to burgle the luggage compartments.

An alleged accomplice was also arrested after the first man was found “doubled up almost like a contortionist” inside the case, police said.

Asked what he was doing, the suitcase man, who wore a head lamp, said he had been unable to pay the coach fare…

The alleged burglar was also found with a sharp tool apparently used for opening zips and locks, as well as a small bag and a mobile phone.

Police believe the man was loaded on to coaches by his accomplice, who would then reclaim him after the 90-minute return trip to Barcelona’s Girona airport.

“Once the trip began, he would get out of the suitcase, search for valuable objects and hide them in a smaller bag he carried with him,” regional Catalan police were quoted as saying by AFP news agency.

But last Friday, Spain’s el Periodico newspaper reports, a coach company employee noticed a man struggling to put a heavy suitcase in the hold of a coach and alerted the authorities…

Inside, they found the alleged burglar, who was pouring with sweat. His alleged accomplice had already boarded the coach.

The two men, both Polish citizens, were arrested for the theft of a laptop and a GPS device, while police are seeking to trace other possible burglary victims.

Krzysztof Grzegorz is the name of the contortionist who hid in the luggage. I can imagine where he kept his head.

The jewel-encrusted 2.75 tonne black carriage, made with £161,000 of Australian taxpayers’ money, was supposed to be delivered in 2006, but government officials have admitted they have no idea where it is.

The coach, named Britannia, is decorated with 24 diamonds, 130 sapphires and 400 books of gold leaf and is estimated to be worth a total of £900,000.

It was made by monarchist Jim Frecklington and is said to feature fragments of more than 100 British historical artefacts including timber from Henry VIII’s flagship the Mary Rose, a piece of the 1760 doorway from 10 Downing Street and gold from Admiral Nelson’s crown from the Battle of Trafalgar.

While he was prime minister, John Howard committed $250,000 worth of public money to the project to support “Australian craftsmanship”.

Two years ago Mr Frecklington said the coach was ready and awaiting shipment to Britain, but under questioning in a Senate inquiry on Wednesday, government officials admitted that they do not know where the coach is and had never inspected it.

“Someone could have absconded with it,” Senator John Faulker told the inquiry “Is there any hope that the carriage will be presented to Her Majesty by the time she is 90?”

Do they tow away coaches parked in a No Parking Zone in Oz? Maybe it’s in some coppers’ hostage lot?

A baseball game intended to help young men avoid violence in the streets ended abruptly Sunday afternoon when one of the players opened fire on his coach at a park in Chicago’s Roseland neighborhood…

The coach, Glynn Hall, 44, was taken to Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where he was treated for multiple gunshot wounds. His condition had been upgraded to fair by Sunday evening…

The shooting happened during the second game of the day for the Cardinals after the gunman became upset with Hall for pulling him from the game…

The player retrieved a semiautomatic handgun, returned to the field and chased after the coach, firing repeatedly. At one point, the player stopped to reload his gun, said the captain.

Hall appeared to have been hit twice, in an arm and in the back, the captain said. When Hall fell to ground, it appeared the player wanted to continue firing at him, but he had run out of bullets, the captain said.

The Cardinals are part of the National Adult Baseball Association’s Chicago Community League, a league for young adults to keep them out of trouble.

Helluva mission statement. Not, uh, exactly having a boatload of success.