Eideard

A cunning plan to rob the warehouse of his former employer went awry for one chubby Chinese thief after he became wedged, legs dangling, in the roof of a lift.

The man, named as Mr Xi by China’s Southern Metropolis Daily newspaper, was fired from a technology company in the southern city of Shenzhen in October. In a bid to exact revenge, and improve his finances, Mr Xi decided to rob the company’s warehouses, hoping to carry away valuable surveillance cameras.

Last Saturday evening, he hid himself in the company’s offices, waiting until all the staff had left before trying to gain access to the warehouse underneath. However, he found he was unable to break into the warehouse and instead decided, in the early hours of Sunday morning, to make his escape by removing the ventilation fan of a freight lift and hoisting himself into the lift shaft.

But Mr Xi’s plan had not accounted for his girth. He found himself quickly wedged into the lift ceiling and unable to free himself.

According to the Southern Metropolis, Mr Xi called his girlfriend, who arrived at the offices to help him. But after two hours of trying to squeeze him through the gap, and the removal of his trousers to make him more streamlined, Mr Xi was still stuck.

When the company’s security guard arrived on Sunday morning, he found Mr Xi hanging trouserless, and his girlfriend exhausted from her efforts to free him.

Eventually Mr Xi was freed by the police, who detained him and his girlfriend for their attempted burglary.

Har!

The family of an obese woman whose body was ‘too fat’ to be cremated is suing a French crematorium for discrimination.

Danielle Pelabarrere, 63, who weighed 22-stone, died of a heart attack in Merignac, near Bordeaux on Saturday.

When her husband Andre booked her coffin into the local crematorium however, he was told it was two inches too wide to fit into the incinerator. The family also tried crematoriums in neighbouring French towns, but none were able to help.

Only Toulouse, which is 100 miles away, said it had an incinerator large enough to take the three-feet wide coffin. Mr Pelabarrere is now demanding compensation from the crematorium “for its inability to meet our needs.”

“It is an outrage. She was mocked for her size in life, and now she is being mocked in death,” he said.

Jean-Claude Oruezabal, the Merignac crematorium manager, denied discrimination. “We accept people and coffins of any size in principle, but in this case it just wont fit and there is nothing we can do”, he said.

I must admit that being a grillin’ and chillin’ kinda guy, at first I thought they were worried about fire spreading to the rest of the building from a fat flare-up.

But, suing because the chosen casket doesn’t fit into the furnace is absurd. They could have put her into the oven in a shroud – or a little judicious squeezing into a narrower casket. I’m willing to bet none of these alternatives were acceptable to the family. Which makes their lawsuit even more ridiculous.

Already the undisputed leader in the gas-electric vehicle market, Asahi (via Reuters) reports the Japanese automaker is planning to launch a new compact hybrid based on the next-gen Yaris platform and due to go on sale in Japan for $15,760 by 2011. That bargain-basement price will be made possible by a low-cost version of Toyota’s Hybrid Synergy Drive, used in the current Prius and featuring a downsized four-cylinder engine that may make it even more fuel efficient than its larger sibling.

In addition to production plants in its home market of Japan, the report indicates that Toyota may also assemble the compact hybrid in France for the European market. This news comes just weeks after Toyota officially announced its intentions to build a hybrid version of its Auris hatchback in the United Kingdom. We certainly wouldn’t be surprised if Toyota imported either of the new hybrids to the States in light of the success it’s seen with the Prius.

It’s expected that the new Yaris-based hybrid will go head-to-head with Honda’s recently announced Fit Hybrid. While Toyota’s interest in hybrid technology is anything but new, the fuel-saving models have just recently earned the top sales spots in Japan and are expected to be increasingly important in over the next few years as the latest round of strict emissions and fuel economy requirements are implemented worldwide.

Another couple of choices welcome in our family for certain. My wife’s ancient Volvo is too old and gets gas mileage too good for the Cash for Clunkers program. If and when it croaks we’ll probably turn it into a planter. Not unknown in our community.

Having a couple of affordable hybrid options for commuting and errands covers 99% of our time spent on motorized wheels. Though I think I’d still prefer she have something with all the cushy bits of a Prius – more choices is what it’s all about.

Everyone in business knows that selling on price is a downward slope to non-profitability, but with profit out of reach for many automakers these days, ignoring price-oriented marketing is pure folly.

In this respect, Toyota appears to be in a conundrum. Its Prius, the darling of eco-minded consumers everywhere and by far the best selling hybrid electric vehicle (HEV) anywhere in the world, finds itself a bit overpriced now that Honda has shown up with its similarly styled and configured, albeit smaller sized Insight. Starting price for the Insight, when it goes on sale globally on April 22, Earth Day not coincidentally, will be a mere $19,800 in the US. That’s $2,200, or about 10-percent less, than the US-market Prius.

Rather than reduce the price of its already value-packed Prius, Toyota may have another solution, or so says industry insider Automotive News. The Detroit-based news service is reporting that Toyota is planning a Yaris hybrid to undercut Honda’s newest HEV, information garnered from Toyota’s chief engineer Akihiko Otsuka.

See a pattern here? Obviously prices won’t drop by 10-percent with every new model, as has been the case since the hybrid’s inception, but like electronics technology, hybrid technology is maturing, build processes are becoming more streamlined and sales numbers are increasing, allowing for better value to the consumer and more profit to the manufacturer, theoretically, at least…

The question that remains isn’t whether or not the Yaris hybrid will do battle against the upcoming Insight, as they’re two HEVs targeting very different market segments, but rather at what price point the new Yaris HEV will go out the door for when it takes on Honda’s upcoming Fit hybrid, a model that Honda CEO Takeo Fukui announced during his mid-year address in Tokyo, May of last year, when also announcing the upcoming CR-Z sports coupe and a small hatchback HEV we now know of as the Insight.

I like it, I like it. Competition producing better product, more affordable vehicles for consumers. Too bad there isn’t much evidence for American auto manufacturers getting into the scrap – at a competitive level.