Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’
Sometimes you have to ask your father for help
Har.
3cheesus pizza
The face of Jesus has been spotted – in a three cheese pizza. Restaurant staff at the Posh Pizza shop in Brisbane, Australia, noticed the manifestation after taking the pizza from the oven. Maree Phelan says: “Some people are already calling it the Cheesus Pizza…
After attracting 26 bids on eBay, the pizza sold for a tasty £98.
Har.
One-third of Russians think sun spins round Earth?

Does the sun revolve around the Earth? One in every three Russians thinks so, a spokeswoman for state pollster VsTIOM said on Friday.
In a survey released this week, 32 percent of Russians believed the Earth was the center of the Solar system; 55 percent that all radioactivity is man-made; and 29 percent that the first humans lived when dinosaurs still roamed the Earth.
“It’s really quite amazing,” spokeswoman Olga Kamenchuk said of the survey that polled 1,600 people across Russia’s regions in January, with a 3.4-percent margin of error.
“All of them (the questions) were absolutely obvious… the data speaks of the low levels of education in the country…”
So, is Russia really a piece of Texas that broke off during the last Ice Age?
Rent-a-coppers dress as baby Jesus to catch thieves

Store detectives at Christmas Markets in Austria are being disguised as the baby Jesus in an attempt to catch shoplifters and pick pockets.
In the German speaking world the Christ child is usually played by young women and is also the traditional bringer of Christmas gifts.
Actors have been replaced by the undercover detectives to stop criminals taking advantage of the crowds to steal items from the stalls and shoppers’ bags at the events which are popular tourists attractions.
Church officials have criticised the idea of using staff employed to play the role as the Christ child to also catch thieves.
A spokesman for the city council in Weitra, Austria, which is one of those to employ the Christ child detectives said: “They are in among the crowds all day long and they are perfect for keeping an eye out for petty crooks.”
Har!
Pic of the Day – sort of
A man stands near the crowned head of a statue of Jesus being built in Swiebodzin, 110 km west of Poznan, western Poland, November 4, 2010. The statue, whose body is 33 metres high, is expected to be completed in November.
It’s being erected as a tourist attraction holy monument.
Religious nutball destroys controversial artwork

A Montana woman was arrested Wednesday at a Colorado museum after she destroyed an artwork that some observers say depicts Jesus engaged in a sex act…Kathleen Folden of Kalispell, Mont., was taken into police custody after she entered the Loveland Museum/Gallery in Loveland, Colo., and destroyed a work called “The Misadventures of Romantic Cannibals,” a lithograph by Enrique Chagoya. The police told The Denver Post that Ms. Folden had used a crowbar or similar tool to break the plexiglass in front of the work and then tore it up. She has been charged with criminal mischief, a felony punishable by a fine of up to $2,000.
For several days the museum has faced protests for displaying the work, which also depicts comic book characters, images from Mexican pornography and Mayan symbols. The Post reported that Daryle Klassen, a Loveland city councilman, objected to the display during a council meeting, calling it “smut” and adding, “That’s not what our community is about.” Some Roman Catholics in Loveland had also sought to have the work taken down.
Mr. Chagoya, a professor of art and art history at Stanford University, told The Post that the lithograph was a commentary on revelations of child abuse by Catholic priests.
“My work is about critiquing institutions and politics,” Mr. Chagoya said. “I wasn’t trying to portray Christ; it’s a collage of cutouts from different books.”
Folden screamed, “How can you desecrate my Lord?” as she smashed the plexiglass in front of the lithograph and then ripped up the lithograph.
No doubt she will defend her Christian act as being above the law.
Bollywood to make Baby Jesus film

Bollywood is to make its first film about the childhood of Jesus.
Director Singeetham Srinivasa Rao said his production will be narrated in four languages and feature an all-Indian cast of child actors and seven devotional songs.
Producer Konda Krishnam Raju said that the film focuses on the childhood of Jesus, a contrast with other movies that depict the later years. “This is the first presentation of this type in Bollywood history,” he said.
While the movie has special significance for Christians, it is “intended for a global audience,” Rao said.
Christians in India number 24 million, or about 2.3 per cent of the country’s population.
Religious Indian films have traditionally used child actors to highlight the “innocence, sanctity and divinity” of religious figures, the director said. Rao’s film will follow that tradition, using the child actors to depict adult characters as well as children.
American makeup artist Christien Tinsley, who earned an Academy Award nomination for his work on The Passion of the Christ, will also be involved in the film.
Aditya Productions plans to release the movie next year in English and three Indian languages – Telugu, Hindi and Malayalam. South Indian star Pawan Kalyan will narrate the Telugu and Malayalam versions, while other well known actors will narrate the English and Hindi versions, the filmmakers said.
You can be assured that questions of youth and sex will be handled with the same innocence and gentleness as any Hindu film. And that won’t make the least little bit of difference to American fundamentalist hypocrites.
Har!
40% of Americans think Jesus will be back by 2050!

More than 40 per cent of Americans believe Jesus Christ will return to Earth by 2050, according to a poll.
Americans are largely optimistic about the future, according to the poll from the Pew Research Center For The People and The Press/Smithsonian Magazine.
By mid century, 71 per cent believe cancer will be cured, 66 per cent say artificial limbs will work better than real ones and 81 per cent believe computers will be able to converse like humans.
But Americans are also braced for a major energy crisis and a warming planet, according to the survey. More than half, or 58 per cent, fear another world war in the next 40 years and 53 per cent expect a terrorist attack against the United States using a nuclear weapon…
Here are some other findings of the poll:
• Nearly three-quarters, or 74 per cent, of those polled believe it likely that “most of our energy will come from sources other than coal, oil, and gas”.
• Yet 72 per cent believe the world is likely to experience a major worldwide energy crisis by 2050.
• 66 per cent say the Earth will definitely or probably get warmer but it breaks down strongly along political lines, with just 48 per cent of Republicans saying so and 83 per cent of Democrats.
• 41 per cent say Jesus Christ will return within the next 40 years while 46 per cent say this will definitely or probably not happen.
• 31 per cent expect the planet will be struck by an asteroid.
Lots of supposedly interesting opinions resulting from one of the least useful polls ever conducted by Pew Research.
Anyone who stays current with Talking Heads, Reality TV, fundamentalist preachers and Tea Party agitprop already has a decent idea of what fills the empty space in American conversation in between sports seasons and presidential elections. And could have written up the results of this poll in advance.
Jesus gets all hot and bothered in Ohio
Zozobra is the New Mexico version – and more fun
Monroe, Ohio – A large statue of Jesus that has been seen by millions across the country was destroyed by a fire late Monday night.
The King of Kings statue that stood outside the Solid Rock Church located on Union Road just off Interstate 75 is now in ruins. Only a few wire frames are still standing.
Officials are still investigating, but lightning likely sparked the blaze…
“This is not right,” said church member Gifty. “We just all have to go on our faith and ask God. This cannot be a coincidence.”
“I was pretty upset,” Andy Caudill said. “Seeing a big thing of our Lord and Savior gone. It’s pretty sad.”
The statue was built in 2004. The 42-foot span between its outstretched arms grabbed the attention of motorists driving by.
Har!
Will a jot of reason will ever sink into the brains of True Believers?
Their Jeebus is struck down by an old-fashioned lightning storm. Or was the anti-Christ paying them a visit?
What would Jesus smoke?

“Hmmm… too tame.”
A marijuana bust along the U.S.-Mexico border revealed 30 pounds of the drug stuffed into framed pictures of Jesus Christ, the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency said Wednesday.
“This is not the first time we have seen smugglers attempt to use religious figures and articles of faith to further their criminal enterprise,” said William Molaski, port director of the agency’s office in El Paso, Texas, in a statement.
“What some might find offensive or sacrilegious has unfortunately become a standard operating procedure for drug smugglers. This would include using religious symbols, children and senior citizens in their attempts to defeat the CBP inspection process.”
There’s a pun involving holy rollers in here somewhere.





