Eideard

The confusion is understandable, right?

The imposter who posed as a Taliban leader to open peace negotiations with Kabul was put forward by British agents who failed to note he was several inches shorter than the man he was impersonating.

The man masquerading as Akhtar Mohammad Mansour was paid a six figure sum and was flown three times to secret meetings with Nato and Afghan representatives before he was rumbled.

Afghan intelligence agents later determined he was a shopkeeper from the Pakistani city of Quetta.

A senior aide to Hamid Karzai said the man had been recommended by the British.

Mohammad Umer Daudzai, Mr Karzai’s chief of staff, said British officials brought the impostor to meet the president in July or August, where he was spotted as a fraud. Senior American officials confirmed the impostor was “the Brits’ guy”.

The British embassy in Kabul declined to comment.

Har! What could they say?

We noted this tale earlier this week; but, accepting a ringer, paying him big bucks to “negotiate” – and failing to notice he was a shrimp compared to the real deal. Laughable.

Remember, when the Yanks say, “Jump!” – you ask “how high?”
Daylife/Getty Images used by permission

Plans by the British government to make significant cuts in defense spending have spurred concerns among American military experts about Britain’s ability to carry out its role as the United States’ most dependable ally.

The Brits used to use the term “batman” to describe a similar purpose within their imperial army. Americans are more likely to say “flunkey”.

A wrenching government spending review has pitted Britain’s army against its navy, spawned a series of leaks to the British media and raised the question of whether the military that emerges from the budget cuts — expected to be 10 percent to 20 percent of current outlays — will be a strategically agile force that can join the United States on major combat operations.

American and British officials said that they did not expect any cutbacks to curtail Britain’s capabilities to fight in Afghanistan over the next five years…

The ten or fifteen years after that might be a problem, though.

Mr. Fox told reporters later that, after any cuts, the British military would be able to respond to a broad array of threats and retain capabilities particularly valued by the Pentagon. He identified those as Britain’s Special Forces, its nuclear deterrent, its participation in the Joint Strike Fighter program and its ability to deploy substantial forces when needed.

While they joust with Israel to see who gets to be the 51st state, the various wings of the British government are working like little beavers to assure Uncle Sugar they need to stay on the death and destruction payroll.

A diary entry belonging to a senior member of the Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) has revealed that during the First World War it was discovered that the bodily fluid could act as an effective invisible ink.

In June 1915, Walter Kirke, deputy head of military intelligence at GHQ France, wrote in his diary that Mansfield Cumming, the first chief (or C) of the SIS was “making enquiries for invisible inks at the London University”.

In October he noted that he “heard from C that the best invisible ink is semen”, which did not react to the main methods of detection. Furthermore it had the advantage of being readily available…

However, the discovery also led to some further problems, with the agent who had identified the novel use having to be moved from his department after becoming the butt of jokes.

In addition, at least one agent had to be reminded to use only fresh supplies of the ‘ink’ when correspondents began noticing an unusual smell.

The revelations are included in ‘MI6: The History of the Secret Intelligence Service 1909-1949′ by Professor Keith Jeffery.

The CIA will buy hundreds of copies – no doubt. Masturbation being one of their essential job skills.

Forensic investigator on the scene

The private life of an MI6 officer who was murdered at his home close to the UK’s foreign intelligence service headquarters is being investigated by Scotland Yard detectives. The body of Gareth Williams was stuffed in a holdall and dumped in his bath.

Williams is believed to have been killed two weeks ago. His body was badly decomposed when his two-bedroom, top floor flat in Pimlico, central London, was searched by police after colleagues raised the alarm. A postmortem examination found that he had not been stabbed, as had been reported earlier, but the cause of death has yet to be established. Further tests, including analysis of his blood for evidence of drugs and alcohol, will now take place.

When police entered his flat they found Williams’s body, a mobile phone and several sim cards laid out in a ritual manner.

The 31-year-old was on secondment to MI6 HQ from the government’s eavesdropping and communications security centre GCHQ in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire. He is believed to have been advising MI6 on secret communication techniques. Many technical staff at Cheltenham spend time advising MI6 and MI5…

Officers from Scotland Yard’s homicide and serious crime command are leading the inquiry, which sources said pointed to the fact that Williams’s intelligence work was not believed to be linked to his death. “National security” seemed to be the least likely of any issues connected with the death, said a Whitehall official…

His former landlady, Jenny Elliott, 71, said he had lived in a flat in her house near Cheltenham for 10 years. He told her he worked at the Foreign Office.

She said he had been due to move back into her house in 10 days after spending a year in London. “He came to live with me in a flat on the side of my house when he started to work at the Foreign Office. He was with me for about 10½ years and then he moved out a year ago. He was due to come back to me on 3 September…

“This awful thing is happening and Gareth was a lovely man, very well-mannered and very likeable. He was very clever and had been to Cambridge and had a very important job at the Foreign Office. Although he didn’t belong to me, I was quite proud of him. It’s like losing one of my own children…

I could remark about American media not knowing the difference between MI5 and MI6; but, the average American doesn’t know the differences between our own FBI, the CIA and NSA.

So, I’ll just watch and read. No doubt, investigative minds will be turned to this mystery.

Houghton is on the right…

MI6 face questions over their security procedures after a computer expert was allowed to smuggle top secret files out of their headquarters which he planned to sell to a foreign power for £2m.

Daniel Houghton, 25, was caught by MI5 in a sting operation in a central London hotel as he tried to leave with £900,000 cash in a suitcase.

Under cover officers had set him up after a tip off from a foreign intelligence agency which said he had offered to sell them information.

Houghton, a computer programmer by training, had helped develop a cutting edge technique for intercepting emails, sources told the Daily Telegraph. In order to drive up the price of the material he was selling, he also stole staff lists and home and mobile telephone numbers of MI5 and MI6 officers.

The information, which Houghton smuggled out of MI6’s Vauxhall Cross headquarters, was labeled “top secret” and “secret.” If leaked, it would have had a “severe impact on operational capabilities and particularly the ability to collect intelligence,” one security source said…

Piers Arnold, prosecuting, told a hearing in London, that Houghton claimed he was “directed by voices” to try and sell the secrets and the judge adjourned the case for further psychiatric reports.

MI6 knew nothing of what Houghton was doing until he contacted the Dutch intelligence service, the AIVD in August last year.

Undercover British and Dutch officers arranged to meet him on February 8 to view the material on his laptop while recording the meeting with hidden listening devices.

Houghton initially demanded £2m for the files but eventually agreed a price of £900,000 and they arranged to meet him again at a central London hotel on March 1 where he showed them the material on a laptop and then handed over two memory cards and a computer hard drive.

He was arrested by police as he made his way to the hotel lift.

Har! I wonder how far he’ll get with the “voices” defense?

Since he’s a young geek, I’m surprised he didn’t try for something more common – like pepperoni pizza addiction or dementia caused by wifi radiation.

Police in London said Friday they are investigating an allegation of torture involving a British intelligence officer.

The Metropolitan Police said it was asked by the attorney general to investigate the case. The British Secret Intelligence Service — also known as MI6 — referred the case to the attorney general, the police said…

Foreign Secretary David Miliband said Friday that the British government “wholeheartedly” condemns torture.

“We will not condone it,” he wrote in a letter responding to Hague. “Neither will we ever ask others to do it on our behalf. This is not mere rhetoric but a principled stance consistent with our unequivocal commitment to human rights. We are fortunate to have the best security and intelligence services and armed forces in the world. We are all safer because of the work they do with integrity and bravery.”

Police released no other details about the new case they are investigating…

Golly. I guess we don’t have to worry about this happening in the USA.

Britain’s MI6 intelligence service is investigating how a camera holding sensitive information about al Qaeda suspects came to be lost by one of its agents.

Media reports said the Nikon digital camera was put up for sale on Internet trading site eBay and sold for just 17 pounds ($30.64). Its memory had names of al Qaeda members, fingerprints and suspects’ academic records as well as pictures of rocket launchers and missiles.

“We can confirm we seized a camera after a member of the public reported it,” said a statement by police in Hertfordshire, north of London, after the camera was handed into a police station.

“Intelligence services are investigating,” the statement added.

I’m beginning to think I should set aside a daily column just for security screw-ups by the British government.