Eideard

British Airways is apologizing to passengers of a trans-Atlantic flight after a recorded message announcing the plane was about to make an emergency landing in the ocean was mistakenly played over the intercom.

The incident, which happened on a flight from Miami to London late Friday, caused panic in the cabin.

Passengers told British newspapers that about three hours into the journey, a recorded voice suddenly announced: “This is an emergency, we will shortly be making an emergency landing on water…”

“We looked at each other and figured we were both about to die. Families with children were distraught and people were in tears. It was very distressing,” passenger Duncan Farquharson told The Telegraph.

“About 30 seconds later, one of the cabin crew told us to ignore the announcement. … Imagining yourself plunging towards a cold, watery grave in the middle of the Atlantic is a pretty horrific thought, but they seemed very blasé about it.”

British Airways isn’t saying whether a technical glitch or human error caused the recording to play…

“We apologized to customers for causing them undue concern.”

Har. Hopefully they offered everyone adult pampers. I certainly would have needed something.

We’ve all said something this dumb one time or another:

I don’t think our extended family has a single Chevy pickup anymore. Most of the pickups are Dodges, preferably diesel. But, the commercial makes me chuckle everytime I see it.

 
A baseball fan in Taiwan dropped his toddler daughter while trying to catch a foul ball.

Cameras at the televised game between the Taipei Brother Elephants and Taoyuan’s Lamigo Monkeys, also caught the fan’s wife shouting at him afterwards.

Mr Bai later said “I was going to catch the ball using one hand but ended up lifting both hands and dropped my daughter.”

The girl said she slightly hurt one leg but was otherwise unhurt.

Do not miss the look – that look, dumbass – and somewhat “corrective” words from this guy’s wife at the end.

Colin Birch, 44, a former assistant vice-president of Deutsche Bank, had been turned down for a job on the same day that he paid the women to taunt him and call him a “loser” as he stood on a ladder with a noose around his neck.

Mr Birch told them he was wearing a safety harness and asked them to kick away the ladder so that they could carry out a mock execution. The women refused and walked away laughing. One of the women, worried for Birch’s safety, returned moments later to find him dying. The harness he had assured them he was wearing failed, the inquest heard. Mr Birch, a married father of two, had been made redundant in 2009 and was having trouble finding new work.

Louise Howard, who runs Katie’s Lovely Escorts, told the inquest that she received a call from Mr Birch on the morning of July 30 asking to arrange the “execution”…

The court heard that Mr Birch, who had been contacting Ms Howard regularly to see if the execution was arranged, sent her a text saying: “Just to clarify the role play. I will wear a harness to support me but will also have a noose round my neck for show. Girl will ask for execution fee and I will go to my place of execution. My crime is being a loser.

“Girl kicks away stool and laughs and walks back to car without looking back so to show she has no feelings. Important stick to the role…”

…Miss Sturley said it “didn’t feel right” and the pair left as she “laughed loudly” as had been ordered. But worried for his safety she went back to check on the former banker.

She found him turning blue and screamed for help from Mr Bowyer and the pair cut him down and tried to resuscitate him but he was pronounced dead at the scene.

A life-ending “Oops!” Or was it?

 
Thousands of tourists flocked to the banks of the Qiantang River in Haining, Zhejiang Province in China to watch an annual natural phenomenon. Every year a tidal surge creates a huge wave that charges up the Qiantang River with the largest reaching a height of 29.5ft, according to local media.

Sometimes – just a little bit more than expected.

What’s next?

Florida police are trying to figure out how a 5-year-old boy came into possession of a loaded handgun that he dropped inside a pre-kindergarten class.

A female pre-kindergarten teacher at Moseley Elementary School in Palatka was giving a music lesson Tuesday morning when she noticed the small, .22-caliber handgun fall out of the boy’s pocket, Assistant Police Chief James Griffith said.

The firearm did not go off, and no one was hurt.

But the boy, along with the gun, were promptly brought to school administrators. They alerted school security and police at 9:25 a.m., having determined that there was no immediate danger to the school, which is in Palatka in northeastern Florida.

“The boy is both initially a suspect in this thing, but also a victim,” said Griffith. “This is very rare.”

The boy told authorities that he found the firearm inside the vehicle that he had come to school in — one which Griffith said belonged to the youngster’s stepfather. Neither the boy nor stepfather have been named, the assistant chief said, in order to protect the identity of the child, who is a minor…

“There was nothing that transpired, as far as threats, showing the weapon off, anything like that,” Griffith said. “At this point, we are trying to determine where the child got the gun from, and if any adult was negligent in allowing him to gain access (to it).”

Phew! Folks are lucky he didn’t accidentally fire the gun, showing it off or something like that.

Depending on whether or not it was a well-made piece, they’re all lucky that a handgun like this – with rimfire cartridges – didn’t fire when it hit the floor.

Two British pensioners landed in hospital in southern Germany after their car’s global positioning system directed them to drive into a church.

While driving their Renault in the evening on a back road near the Austrian border, the navigation system instructed the couple to turn right where there was no road.

“They were confused and didn’t notice that the navigation system was faulty,” a police spokeswoman said.

The 76-year-old driver then plowed into the side of the village church, writing off the car, knocking a picture off the wall and damaging the building’s foundations. Total damages were some 25,000 euros, police in the nearby town of Immenstadt said.

The couple, who were traveling to France, spent the evening in hospital recuperating from minor injuries.

That’s got to leave a mark.

A Chinese man got his arm trapped down a lavatory trying to retrieve his mobile phone after he accidentally dropped it down the U-bend.

The student at the Technology and Business University in the city of Chongqing, China, wrapped his arm in newspaper around thinking it would keep it clean as he tried to reach his phone.

The newspaper expanded in the water, trapping his arm in the U-bend. Firefighters were called, who freed him by breaking the bowl.

Har!

His final fishing trip on board the Mary B III

Daniel Scott Lasky’s wish was to be buried at sea.

So when the 48-year-old died this month of Lou Gehrig’s disease, his family followed his request. They put his body on dry ice, brought it to South Florida, chartered a boat, said their goodbyes and released him to the sea, according to the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

Except a day later, Lasky’s body floated to the surface…

On Dec. 18, 2009, he had his “celebration of life” at Augustana Evangelical Lutheran Church in Hickory, the obituary read. He died about nine months later, on Sept. 8, at home. The obituary said, “Burial will be at sea.”

The day after his death, his family began the drive south, stopping overnight in Daytona Beach before arriving in Fort Lauderdale on Friday.

That day, Sharon Lasky, his pastor and a few other family members boarded the Mary B III, along with the boat’s captain, crew and Daniel Lasky’s body, according to the Broward Sheriff’s Office. After their goodbyes, they went fishing in his honor and returned to shore.

The next morning, a fisherman found the body floating and alerted the U.S. Coast Guard.

Although burying a body at sea is legal, certain rules have to be followed.

According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, human beings who are not cremated must be buried at least three nautical miles from land in water at least 600 feet deep. And, said the EPA, measures must be taken to make sure the body sinks to the bottom “rapidly and permanently.”

Oops!