Eideard

Some of her friends

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, according to state media.

Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.

“I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court…

Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 185 miles south of the capital Harare on Sunday…

Moyo has been charged with bestiality and remanded in custody. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination…

Uh, OK. Anyone have a better excuse?

A man who tried to hire a prostitute to take his 14-year-old son’s virginity as a present was spared jail by a court.

The Polish national took the boy out in his car and allowed him to pick out the prostitute, who was standing at the side of the road in the red-light district of Nottingham. But the 42-year-old father was arrested because the teenager had chosen an undercover police officer, Nottingham Crown Court heard.

The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was handed a 10-month prison sentence, suspended for a year, after he admitted a charge of trying to solicit a woman to have sex with a child, the Press Association reported.

The court heard that the father, who came to Britain eight years ago, was arrested last July during an undercover operation by the city’s vice squad…

“The boy said that they had driven past the girl and his dad pointed to her and said ‘will she do?‘” Harris said.

“He said ‘yes’ and they had turned round. He said his dad did this because he was still a virgin and he was taking care of that for him.”

Judge Jonathan Teare said he would spare the father jail because of his excellent character and that he believed he did not mean any harm to his son.

Har! How did the judge keep from chuckling?

Vincent van Gogh did not cut off his own ear but lost it in a fight with fellow artist Paul Gauguin in a row outside a brothel, it has been claimed.

It has long been accepted that the mentally ill Dutch painter cut off his own ear with a razor after the row in Arles, southern France, in 1888.

But a new book, based on the original police investigation, claims Gauguin swiped Van Gogh’s ear with a sword…

They looked at witness accounts and letters sent by the two artists, concluding that the row ended with Gauguin – a keen fencer – cutting his friend’s ear off.

Van Gogh then apparently wrapped it in cloth and handed it to a prostitute, called Rachel.

Hans Kaufmann said it was not clear whether it was an accident or a deliberate attempt to injure Van Gogh, but afterwards both men agreed to tell the police the self-harm story to protect Gauguin…

Gauguin later moved to Tahiti, where he produced some of his most famous works. Van Gogh died in 1890 after shooting himself in the chest.

The sort of artistic turmoil I must admit I used to enjoy. Years later, I’m more inclined to guess it just gets in the way of actually producing anything useful or interesting.

Neurosis ain’t especially insightful.