Eideard

Two would-be thieves called in their own crime to police in Germany after they could not escape from a broken-down elevator over the weekend.

“This sounds really dumb,” one of the thieves told police in Cologne over the elevator’s emergency phone, “But I’m afraid that we wanted to break in and the elevator has gotten stuck.”

When police arrived they found the two thieves aged 31 and 37 stuck in the elevator of an office building.

The thieves allegedly broke into the building and were attempting to reach a higher floor when the elevator became stuck, the police said.

They decided to phone for help when one thief injured his hand attempting to pry open the door.

Firemen eventually freed the men and they were arrested.

Har!

At least they were smart enough to call for help and not try to qualify for a Darwin Award.

Click on the photo for Reuters Pictures view of the stuck submarine

The Royal Navy hastened to assemble an official inquiry Friday evening to explore why Britain’s newest nuclear submarine, H.M.S. Astute, ran aground while undergoing sea trials off the coast of northwest Scotland on Friday morning and remained stuck on a bank of sand and shingle for nearly 10 hours before a tug pulled it free at nightfall. A spokesman for the Royal Navy said divers would be deployed to check concerns that the submarine’s rudder had been damaged.

The episode was particularly embarrassing for the navy because the vessel, one of the most technologically advanced submarines in the world, was designed for maximum stealth and use in such delicate operations as delivering special forces troops secretly and eavesdropping off the coasts of hostile nations. Its design features and propulsion mechanisms are considered top secret, naval experts said, but both were on display during the grounding.

Earlier efforts by tugboats to free the $2 billion vessel failed, prompting officials to wait until the evening tide to refloat it. Their decision left the 8,000-ton submarine, as long as a football field and equipped to carry Tomahawk cruise missiles, sitting motionless in full view of people on the shoreline throughout the day.

Local residents quoted by the BBC said the submarine appeared to be tilting slightly as it sat about a mile off the coast of the Isle of Skye, close to the bridge that links the island to the Scottish mainland at the Kyle of Lochalsh, 150 miles northwest of Glasgow.

They certainly had a great view of the Black Cuillin. I just hope they didn’t screw up one of the most idyllic spots on this whole bloody planet. The Misty Isle is heaven on Earth – though I have spent as long as 3 weeks in a tent waiting for the rain to stop.

Whether travelling against traffic on a one way-way street or plunging blindly into a river, there have been countless stories of in-car GPS systems leading overly trusting drivers astray. However, a Nevada couple may have been left with some serious GPS trust issues this week after finding themselves stranded for three days in the snowy climes of Oregon.

Faithfully following the prompts provided by their navigational system, John Rhoads (65) and Starry Bush-Rhoads (67) had their long journey home cut short after their SUV became stuck in snow when directions took them down an extremely remote forest road.

Miles from any form of immediate assistance in an inhospitable region – and unable to get a clear signal from their GPS-enabled phone in order to relay coordinates to a 911 dispatcher – the couple duly hunkered down in their vehicle until the weather improved.

Almost three days later, atmospheric conditions in the region – near Silver Lake, Oregon – relented sufficiently for the mobile phone handset system to establish a weak but clear link and communicate their position to emergency services.

Commenting on the unfortunate situation suffered by the Rhoads, Klamath County Sheriff Tim Evinger said the couple had been fairly lucky insofar as they were equipped with plenty of provisions, water and warm clothing to see them through the ordeal.

That last sentence is the important one. Relying on tech to save your buns works most of the time; but – be prepared to take care of things on your own, as well.