Eideard

Now there’s a way to protest those intrusive TSA X-ray body scanners without saying a word. Underclothes printed with the 4th Amendment in Metallic Ink. Let them know they’re spying at the privates of a private citizen. The 4th Amendment to the US Constitution is readable on TSA body scanners.

From the designers:

“4th Amendment Wear made a statement without having to say a word. It’s what we considered ‘technological Judo’ – it used the very act of invading someone’s privacy to communicate a message that questioned how far Americans were willing sacrifice that sense of privacy. It didn’t outright condemn the search – it just raised questions. It gave the wearer a sense of individual liberty to be able to express their concerns, while not causing a disturbance.”

Yes, this truly appeals to my sense of humor – and provokes limitless ideas of variations on the theme. Some of which aren’t even obscene.

Thanks, Ursarodinia

I’ll just stay quite still and no one will notice me

A kangaroo is for the high jump after escaping from its owner and going on a knicker-nicking spree.

Benji bounced from garden to garden collecting ladies’ lingerie as it went. The two-year-old marsupial was only caught when one victim looked out of her kitchen window and saw it hopping it with her undies.

A spokesman for the police in Prague, Czech Republic, explained: “We had a call from the kangaroo’s owner saying it had escaped. At the same time, we started getting reports of a number of thefts from washing lines.”

He added: “We didn’t think they could possibly be related until the animal was caught red-handed.”

Benji’s owner Petr Hlabovic, 35, said: “I’m very relieved to have him back. I’ve got no idea what he thought he was up to – he certainly didn’t pick up the habit from me.”

That’s what they all say.

Thanks, Ursarodinia

A Japanese woman is suing Google for displaying images of underwear hanging on her washing line on its Street View function.

The woman, who has not been named, is suing the internet giant for 600,000 Yen (£4,588) claiming the images caused her psychological distress, according to Japan’s Mainichi newspaper…

“I was overwhelmed with anxiety that I might be the target of a sex crime,” the woman told a district court. “It caused me to lose my job and I had to change my residence.”

According to the suit, the woman first saw the photo on Google this spring when she did a search for her own apartment, where she lived alone.

The suit claims her existing obsessive-compulsive disorder was worsened by the anxiety brought on by the photo, as she feared that everything she was doing throughout the day was being secretly recorded.

So, loonybirds are allowed to bring suit over their loonybird delusions?

The clothesline is outdoors, right? Will she sue every neighbor with a view of the clothesline?

We’ve looked at plenty of breakthroughs in wind technology over the years here at Gizmag, but maybe none so beneficial to mankind as 4SKINS underwear. Taking the idea behind the Better Marriage Blanket to the next obvious level, this new underwear is made from odor absorbing fabric that soaks up offensive gases so you won’t have to blame that nostril burning stench on the dog.

Unlike the Better Marriage Blanket, which traps “flatulence molecules” in a layer of activated carbon, the 4SKINS underwear uses Neutralizer technology from California-based company, Nano-Tex, which builds “odor-eliminating nanotechnology” into the fabric’s individual fibers. This technology attracts, isolates and neutralizes odors on the fabric as well as any passing through.

Because the fabric is able to breathe naturally, not only will those around you be able to breathe easier, so will your nether regions. Unfortunately, the underwear isn’t soundproof though, so it will be most effective against SBD (silent but deadly) emissions.

The 4SKINS underwear line is the brainchild of Australian entrepreneur Gilbert Huynh…“We took to the design stage determined to create the most comfortable pair of undies on the market and figured nothing is more uncomfortable than the moment when you can’t contain your gas…“

And a special mention to the person who came up with the 4SKINS tagline of “Keep it in your pants.” Kudos sir or madam, kudos.

I don’t know if it’s opportunism or he knows something we don’t; but, so far, the absorbent underwear is only available for men.

Are women telling the truth when they say, “My farts don’t smell”?

Officials at the prestigious Brooklyn Law School rented the school’s library to the fashion brand Diesel for an undisclosed fee, “expecting a tasteful photo shoot,” because apparently they’ve never seen a single Diesel ad, and didn’t bother to Google it.

Shocking: True to its brand, Diesel’s resulting ads aren’t even Dolce & Gabanna–style suggestive, they’re just quirky soft-core porn stills. In this case, the images are a whole bunch of campy, fairly cute library fantasies, featuring “students” wearing underwear reading “Tonight I am your teacher,” and mounting each other on bookshelves.

One would think a place like Brooklyn Law might welcome this sexy attention, but no! Some uptight students now claim the ads are “gross” and “embarrassing,” and the school might sue the brand. It’s not yet determined whether the ads will even run outside the Diesel website, since Brooklyn Law claims they’re a breach of contract.

Interim dean Michael Gerber wrote a schoolwide e-mail yesterday saying: “We are as shocked and mortified as you must be by these photographs,” which assumes a lot. “When the school gave its permission to do the shoot, [we were] assured that the photos would be in good taste. They are not.” Again, good taste is all relative. And this guy’s an attorney?

In any case, Diesel got its attention — and hopefully a lot of Brooklyn Law kids are laughing about this.

So, a law school where no one did any due diligence. Har!

The people who brought the world malicious software that steals credit card numbers from your personal computer and empties bank ATMs of their cash are hiring, and they’re advertising online.

Two companies that are hiring — at least on a contractor basis — advertise online, said Kevin Stevens, a threat intelligence analyst for SecureWorks, who presented findings on the organizations at the Black Hat cybersecurity conference outside Washington on Monday.

What they are seeking is people who are willing to take malicious code they provide and link it to something that people will click on — like a picture of Britney Spears getting out of her car. These people then collect a fee for each 1,000 times that the malware is downloaded.

One site, for example, pays $180 for each 1,000 times that malware is downloaded onto a U.S. computer but less for computers elsewhere. It refuses to pay for any downloads to Russian computers, causing Stevens and others to strongly suspect that it, like other similar sites, are based in Russia.

“We pay your wages via the following systems: Fethard, WebMoney, Wire, e-gold, Western Union (WU), MoneyGram, Anelik and ePassporte, and PayPal,” the site said…

Cripes. What makes the sleazy entrepreneurs who sign for these contract jobs think they’re any less likely to be screwed – than the people they themselves are setting out to screw?

The police minister in Australia’s most populous state was forced to quit over reports he “dirty danced” in underwear over the chest of a female colleague in a drunken late-night office party. Matt Brown resigned just three days after being sworn in as police minister of New South Wales state, which includes Sydney.

“I’m a human being and I made a mistake and I am going to cop the consequences,” Brown told reporters. “I am not wanting to duck or weave this issue. As you can imagine this is a pretty tough day for me.”

Witnesses said Brown stripped down to his underpants and danced to loud techno music on a green leather Chesterfield lounge before he “mounted the chest” of a female politician and simulated a sex act.

“Embarrassed doesn’t begin to describe it. He conceded he’d been in his underwear and that gave me no option but to demand his resignation,” State Premier Nathan Rees said.

I think it’s pretty funny and probably would vote for the dude. But, let’s face it – dirty dancing at an office party ain’t a sign of understanding your role in public office.

You may joke with your dad about his age; but, he may be defensive about how old his underwear is.

According to a recent telephone survey by Kelton Research, on behalf of Jockey International Inc., more than a quarter of men say their shorts are more than 4 years old. 77 percent admit that their ancient undergarments haven’t stood the test of time and are tattered, discolored or stained.

In fact, nearly a third of the 500 men surveyed said their old boxers or briefs no longer have elasticity, while 15 percent said they have underwear that doesn’t fit and 14 percent said they keep pairs that are covered in holes.

Underwear a decade old or older are in the top drawers of 11 percent of men, while only 2 percent said they have kept undergarments that are more than 20 years old.

I think this is over-communicating.