Eideard

Some of her friends

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, according to state media.

Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.

“I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court…

Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 185 miles south of the capital Harare on Sunday…

Moyo has been charged with bestiality and remanded in custody. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination…

Uh, OK. Anyone have a better excuse?

A favored spot near Harare

Three Zimbabwean women have been accused of a series of sex attacks on male hitchhikers, purportedly to steal their semen for use in ritual practices. In a case that has gripped media and public imagination, the gang appeared in court to face charges of aggravated indecent assault.

Sophie and Netsai Nhokwara, sisters aged 26 and 24, along with 28-year-old Rosemary Chakwizira, are the first suspects to be arrest since accounts of women gang-raping men in Zimbabwe emerged two years ago. They were charged along with Thulani Ngwenya, 24, who is Sophie Nhokwara’s boyfriend.

The gang’s alleged 17 victims identified so far include a soldier and a police officer whom they allegedly forced to have sex without condoms, the Herald newspaper reported…

The women were arrested when they were involved in an accident and police reportedly found 31 used condoms – three half-full of semen – in the boot of their car.

James Sabau, a spokesman for Harare police, told state media that preliminary investigations suggested a ritual link to the collection of victims’ semen.

“We are still trying to figure out why semen was collected,” he was quoted as saying. “Information we have gathered so far links the entire female rapist issue to rituals that make people rich. It is, however, still unclear how the supposed rituals work.”

RTFA. Honestly – I haven’t a comment for this one. What do you think?

Toilet reserved for Mugabe

When the call of nature comes, it cannot always be denied. Few have answered it in such an unfortunate fashion as Alois Mabhunu.

While on duty at a trade fair the Zimbabwean police sergeant simply could not hold on and allegedly dashed to the nearest toilet – disastrously, as it transpired, a toilet specially reserved for President Robert Mugabe.

Mabhunu’s relief was thus shortlived. He was arrested and has languished in jail for two weeks on suspicion of invading the presidential privy…

Under the headline “Never Use Toilet Reserved For President!” VOP’s website reported that Mabhunu was on duty at the Zimbabwe International Trade Fair grounds during its official opening by Mugabe and Jean-Louis Ekra, the president of Afreximbank.

“Mabhunu, due to the call of nature, rushed to the toilets reserved for Mugabe and his guest Ekra, but was stopped by other officers guarding the toilets,” VOP said. “…He was arrested the following day on 7 May after a report was made to Mugabe’s security men and to senior police officers in the city.”

Mabhunu, a murder detective, is in police detention at barracks on the outskirts of Bulawayo. The legality of the case against him was challenged by Beatrice Mtetwa, one of Zimbabwe’s leading human rights lawyers.

“There has to be a law saying the toilet is the president’s, but this was a public one,” she said. “They will have had to issue a proclamation in the government gazette specifying it. I bet they didn’t do that.”

Mugabe’s personal space – and reputation as father of the independent nation – are fiercely protected. Several motorists are said to have been assaulted by his security personnel for not giving way to the presidential motorcade.

Insulting the president is punishable by up to a year in jail. Even if the insult is generated by your digestive tract. Apparently.