Dumb crook of the day!

A slippery character

Seventy-five bottles of body lotion stuffed down his pants did not help Chamil Guadarrama make a slick getaway.

Guadarrama, 30, of Framingham, was arrested Wednesday night on a charge of shoplifting more than $250 from Bath & Body Works in the Eastfield Mall, said Sgt. John M. Delaney, aide to Police Commissioner William J. Fitchet.

When he was apprehended by mall security officers Jane Colon and Jeff Lawlor and held for police after a brief foot chase, Guadarrama was found with 75 8-ounce glass bottles of lotion stuffed into his pants, Delaney said.

“They could not fit Mr. Guadarrama into the cruiser because his pants were bursting at the seams and he could not bend over,” Delaney said.

He said Guadarrama was wearing ordinary trousers but had string tied around each ankle to keep the bottles from slipping out…

A clerk at the store spotted Guadarrama slipping bottles of lotion through his zipper, and alerted security, Delaney said. Colon asked him to stop, but Guadarrama tried to run, he said.

Given the sheer volume of merchandise down his pants – the equivalent of nearly 5 gallons – the 5-foot, 10-inch, 210-pound Guadarrama did not exactly tear through the mall with a sprinter’s speed…

Guadarrama pleaded innocent at his district court arraignment Thursday. He was released on his own recognizance and ordered to return to court on March 19.

I’m getting tired of the automatic “Not Guilty” pleas. Can’t we institute a system where crooks like this ditz can plead guilty and get better TV in their cells or something – for not wasting taxpayer money and court time?

6 thoughts on “Dumb crook of the day!

  1. Flo says:

    I’m getting tired of the automatic “Not Guilty” pleas. Can’t we institute a system where crooks like this ditz can plead guilty and get better TV in their cells or something

    I’m sure he has a perfectly good explanation.

    • Jägermeister says:

      He has a skin condition and couldn’t afford buying it… and if he just tells the judge that he found Jesus, he’ll just get a week in jail.

  2. Cinaedh says:

    What?

    A guy has strings tied around his ankles to cinch his pant legs closed, he’s observed inserting bottles of body lotion into his fly, his pants are so full they might explode and when confronted, he tries to run and can’t because he has 5 gallons of unpaid-for body lotion in his pants and you just assume he’s guilty?

    Look at the poor guy! Anyone should be able to figure out he’s most likely totally innocent, just by looking at his photo.

    Good Grief! You never would have made a living as a defense lawyer with a negative attitude like that, now would you?

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