Man claims donkey is his favorite hooker – transformed!

Some of her friends

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal, according to state media.

Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.

I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court…

Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 185 miles south of the capital Harare on Sunday…

Moyo has been charged with bestiality and remanded in custody. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination…

Uh, OK. Anyone have a better excuse?

US natural gas to be exported globally from Louisiana in $8B deal

BG Group Plc will buy 3.5 million metric tons a year of liquefied natural gas from Cheniere Energy Partner LP’s terminal at Sabine Pass in Louisiana, bringing U.S. exports a step closer.

The 20-year contract is Cheniere’s first long-term sales agreement for exports from the terminal’s proposed plant in Cameron Parish and may help the company raise finance to begin construction of the facilities that will chill the gas, turning it into liquid for transportation, BG Group said in a statement…

Surging shale gas production has reversed declining output in the U.S., now the world’s largest gas producer ahead of Russia. Companies including Cheniere plan to convert LNG import terminals into export plants.

…Profitability of U.S. exports is determined by the price difference between gas and crude oil. Oil is sometimes used as a power generation fuel, and is also used as a reference in setting Asian long-term energy contract prices…

Shipments may start as soon as 2018, Elizabeth Spomer, senior vice president for business development, said.

Cheniere has said it plans to sell LNG to Caribbean nations for power generation to cut their dependence on crude oil. Jamaica, Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic are among those that could save money by burning gas to generate electricity, Cheniere’s chief executive officer Charif Souki has said.

And, someday – just maybe someday – the political blockheads in Washington will realize that both American consumers and American investors would benefit from including natural gas as a leading producer of electricity in this land of ours.

I ain’t holding my breath waiting, though.

Deodorant commercial banned as offensive to Christians

South Africa’s advertising watchdog has banned a television commercial depicting angels falling from heaven because they are attracted to a man’s deodorant after a complaint from a Christian.

The advertisement for Axe deodorant (known as Lynx in Britain) features winged, attractive women crashing to earth in an Italian town.

The scantily-clad women are then drawn towards a seemingly unremarkable man preparing to get on a moped. They regard their quarry lasciviously while sniffing the air before one by one smashing their halos and advancing towards him.

A viewer who complained to South Africa’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) said the suggestion that God’s messengers would literally fall for a mortal being because of a deodorant was incompatible with his belief as a Christian.

ASA agreed, and ordered Unilver SA, which sells Axe deodorants, to withdraw the advertisement.

As such, the problem is not so much that angels are used in the commercial, but rather that the angels are seen to forfeit, or perhaps forego their heavenly status for mortal desires,” it said in a statement.

Idiots. Not just the dweeb who made the complaint, of course; but, the petty bureaucrats who made the decision to ban the commercial.

I wouldn’t expect either to have a sense of humor. That would allow for normal human emotions to overrule obedience to either social strictures leftover from the Dark Ages or government administrators assigning priority to democratic decision-making in the commercial marketplace.

Like – if you don’t like the commercial don’t buy the fracking deodorant!

Tales from the Royal Society

The world’s oldest scientific academy, the Royal Society, has made its historical journal, which includes over 8000 scientific papers, permanently free to access online.

The plague, the Great Fire of London and even the imprisonment of its editor – just a few of the early setbacks that hit the Royal Society’s early editions of the Philosophical Transactions. But against the odds the publication, which first appeared in 1665, survived. Its archives offer a fascinating window on the history of scientific progress over the last few centuries.

Nestling amongst illustrious papers by Isaac Newton and Charles Darwin are some undiscovered gems from the dawn of the scientific revolution, including gruesome tales of students being struck by lightning and experimental blood transfusions.

RTFA – more important, visit the site. Enjoy wandering through the history of many minds in the quest for knowledge.

8 NYC coppers among 12 charged in criminal conspiracy

Preet Bharara and Ray Kelly
Daylife/AP Photo used by permission

Five active and three retired officers of the New York Police Department are among 12 people charged Tuesday with conspiring to transport and distribute firearms and stolen goods…

“A group of crime fighters took to moonlighting as criminals,” Preet Bharara, U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, said at a press conference.

The defendants are charged in an alleged conspiracy to transport and distribute untraceable firearms across state lines. and conspiracy to transport supposedly stolen and counterfeit goods including cigarettes from Virginia and slot machines from Atlantic City, New Jersey…

The current or former NYPD officers charged are William Masso, Eddie Goris, Ali Oklu, Gary Oritz, and John Mahony, all active-duty officers in Brooklyn; Joseph Trischitta and Marco Venezia, who were active-duty NYPD officers at the time of the alleged crimes but are now retired; and Richard Melnik, a retired NYPD officer. Also charged, federal authorities said, are Anthony Santiago, a New York City Department of Sanitation police officer; David Kanwisher, a New Jersey corrections officer; and Michael Gee and Eric Gomer, who court documents list as “associates” of Santiago…

Prosecutors said that while the defendants all believed the items they transported were stolen; they had in fact been provided by the FBI. The firearms were never a danger to the public, authorities said, as they had been rendered inoperable.

“These crimes are without question, reprehensible — particularly conspiring to import untraceable guns and assault rifles into New York,” said Janice K. Fedarcyk, assistant director in charge of the FBI’s New York division. “The public trusts the police not only to enforce the law, but to obey it. These crimes, as alleged in the complaint, do nothing but undermine public trust and confidence in law enforcement.”

You got that right.

The whole point of oversight is made in spades. This is why we have an SEC to keep an eye on Wall Street. And they failed us the last decade. This is why we have federal attorney-generals and they pretty much failed us during the 8 useless years of Bush/Cheney.

We’re fortunate to have someone like Preet Bharara operating in New York, nowadays. Seems like I get to note his name in a crime-busting case every couple of months.