Day: January 13, 2014

What will your verse be?

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I’ve spent most of my life living multiple directions at the same time.

I went from being a kid performing artist as a classical musician to teen jazz musician – while studying photography and literature.

I went from industrial engineering to a major in English literature – after switching to a 12-string guitar. And stopped racing cars, legally or otherwise, which included a very short stint driving for a bootlegger.

There’s more – especially political struggles over the last half-century or so. But, if you’re a regular visitor to this blog you’ll bump into those tales, the pleasure I experience from materialist philosophy and dialectics, science and society.

But, the arts in one form or another should be part of everyone’s life. Today’s technology brings ease and experiment into everyone’s life. Music, photography, writing, reading, experiencing all the wonder of human creativity and nature’s reach can be in the palm of your hand.

The shared experience of seeing a scientist in Alabama – or a technology and business journalist in San Francisco – become really skilled with the digital tools they have chosen to describe the beauty of existence makes me one of the happiest critters on Earth.

When a company chooses to sell their wares on the basis of this capability adds to that enjoyment.

Swiss Cheese pervert driving around in Philadelphia

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A man who is accused of exposing himself and asking women to perform lewd acts with Swiss cheese is on the loose in Philadelphia according to the Facebook page of the Mayfair Town Watch.

The Pennsylvania “Swiss Cheese Pervert” reportedly drives his car up to women with his genitals exposed and then offers cash for ladies to put a slice of Swiss cheese on his penis and perform sexual acts.

“I understand that people may think this is funny, but this is no laughing matter,” said the town watch’s senior adviser, Milt Martelack. “We’ve had a couple individuals reach out to us. We’re taking this matter very seriously, and we’re working vigorously with police to get this guy off the streets.”

Gabby Chest claims that a man she met on OkCupid made similarly strange requests.

“He said he was looking for someone to perform masturbation on him with cheese,” Chest said. “He kept saying how strong his urges were and how desperate he was to find someone to help him with them…”

She recognized the man from Mayfair Town Watch’s Facebook page.

“There’s no doubt it was him; it looked exactly like the picture on his profile,” Chest said. “I was scared and shocked. I never thought the guys you see on those sites would be so close to me.”

Mayfair Civic Association chairman Joe DeFelice is hoping that the town watch will be able to spoil the Swiss Cheese Pervert’s reign of bizarre behavior.

…DeFelice said. “It’s uncalled for and disheartening to think this guy is coming to our neighborhood to bother women…I hope he gets cheese sandwiches in prison.”

Take a good look at that fuzzy photo up top and ask yourself – I wonder how Rush Limbaugh feels about cheese?

Portland pimp sues Nike for $100 million for lack of warning label

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Sirgiorgiro Clardy claims Nike should have placed a label in his Jordan shoes warning consumers that they could be used as a dangerous weapon. He was wearing a pair when he repeatedly stomped the face of a john who was trying to leave a Portland hotel without paying Clardy’s prostitute in June 2012.

Jurors early in 2013 found him guilty of second-degree assault for using his Jordans — a dangerous weapon — to beat the john’s face to a pulp. The man required stitches and plastic surgery on his nose.

The jury also found him guilty of robbing the john and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute. She was injured so badly that she bled from her ears.

In his three-page complaint handwritten from the Eastern Oregon Correctional Institution in Pendleton, Clardy claims that Nike, Chairman Phil Knight and other executives failed to warn consumers that the shoes could be used as a weapon to cause serious injury or death…

He asks a Multnomah County judge to order Nike to affix warning labels to all their “potentially dangerous Nike and Jordan merchandise.”

In the past, Oregon defendants have been convicted of using a wide array of items or substances as dangerous weapons. The list includes boots, rope, a phone receiver, scalding hot water and HIV-infected blood. The “dangerous weapon” classification can spur longer prison sentences.

As disaffected and criminal as Clardy obviously is – it’s worth noting he’s trying his best to maintain American leadership over the rest of the world in frivolous lawsuits.

Having a substantial number of lawyers and judges willing to participate in such crap probably gives us an unfair advantage over every other nation.

I wouldn’t care to be the guy setting a record for the biggest insect removed from inside a human ear

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Hendrik Helmer has taken out the unofficial title of having the largest cockroach removed from a human ear in Darwin.

He says dislodging the 2cm giant at Royal Darwin Hospital caused him agonising pain.

The cockroach took about 10 minutes to die after it was removed from his ear.

Mr Helmer, from the Darwin suburb of Karama, said his ordeal began early on Wednesday morning when he was woken up at about 2:30am by a sharp pain in his right ear.

He immediately thought some type of insect may have crawled into it while he slept…He said the pain was intense and despite a few bouts of relief began to get worse.

“I was hoping it was not a poisonous spider … I was hoping it didn’t bite me,” he said.

After trying to suck the insect out with a vacuum cleaner, he tried squirting water from a tap into his ear to flush it out…

“Whatever was in my ear didn’t like it at all,” he said.

As his pain increased, Mr Helmer, who works as a supervisor at a warehouse, roused his flatmate to take him to Royal Darwin Hospital, where he was quickly seen by a doctor.

Mr Helmer said the doctor put oil down the ear canal, which forced the still-unidentified insect to crawl in deeper but eventually it began to die.

“Near the 10 minute mark … somewhere about there, he started to stop burrowing but he was still in the throes of death twitching,” he said.

At that point the doctor put forceps into his ear and pulled out the cockroach…

“She said they had never pulled an insect this large out of someone’s ear,” Mr Helmer said.

Helmer says he’s not changing anything in his lifestyle – or sleepstyle; but, when some of his friends were asked for an opinion, they said they’ve started sleeping with headphones on or earbuds in their ears.

Eeoouugh!