The international trade in boneless pork rectums

boneless_pork_rectums

Ever wonder what’s in those delicious dumplings? What gives them that special tang? The flavor that cannot quite be named? Wonder no further! For the secret has been revealed. Boneless pork rectums

And the secret is…boneless pork rectums, finely diced. All the hush-hush is over because, through carelessness, these boxes were allowed to be photographed just before they were hustled into a restaurant in Taiwan. But now that their presence has been revealed to the world, the silence surrounding dumpling recipes can be broken.

Take a careful look at the labels. Not only are these rectums boneless—all the best ones are—but they are inverted! Culinary insiders have long known that it is only in the cheapest dumplings that one finds non-inverted rectums.

This is almost certainly because inverting a rectum is a tedious, labor-intensive process, requiring specialized skills and arcane knowledge available to only a few. We can only imagine that the apprenticeship leading to a mastery of inversion is long and grueling.

As a consequence, the non-inverted kind are cheaper. They are usually ground together with the external tissue surrounding the orbicularis oris muscles and processed into hot dogs. The more expensive inverted cuts are saved for export and thus eventually find their way between dumpling skins…

Dawn Pork & Bacon of Ireland is acknowledged to be the best supplier of rectums, with or without crowns (those above are from Tyson Frozen Meats, Inc., a USA company). Dawn even sell the crowns separately. Being a one-stop shop, you can even load up on uteri and spleens while there…

This study in depth by William M. Briggs and originally posted at his blog not only contains a fascinating analysis of the trade in pig offal, he calculates how many packaged rectums travel in a standard 20-foot container [18,500 to 20,000].

RTFA for all the fascinating factoids you might ever wish to know about boneless pork rectums.

Thanks, Mike

“Excuse me, I’m not dead”

Kimberly Haman is not dead and would like everyone to know it — most of all her bank and a major credit bureau accused of reporting otherwise and failing to fix the mistake.

Haman, 46, of unincorporated St. Louis County, filed suit Monday in federal court here against Heartland Bank, of St. Louis, and Equifax. The complaint says she was “shocked” to find that the bank declared her dead almost a year ago and that the credit reporting giant passed word along.

The suit alleges that she repeatedly complained to both, with no result.

“She’s contacting them, and saying, ‘Excuse me, I’m not dead.’ And even through that process, they continue to report her as deceased,” the plaintiff’s lawyer, Sylvia Goldsmith, said in an interview.

Twice, Haman has been blocked from refinancing her mortgage to a lower rate. She also has been refused a credit card, after potential lenders spotted her “deceased” status, the suit says.

“At this point, (Haman) is at a complete loss as to what else she can do,” the suit says. “The entire experience has imposed upon (Haman) significant distrust, frustration and distress, and has rendered Plaintiff hopeless as to her ability to regain her good name and the credit rating that she deserves and has worked hard to earn,” it continues…

Which is lawyerese for saying her credit rating is screwed. She’s unable to use any of the credit and commerce protocols generally available in our economy – if you have credit and if you’re not dead. 🙂

A Federal Trade Commission study of the credit reporting industry, released a year ago, found that 26 percent of the 1,001 consumers surveyed found at least one “potentially material” error on at least one of the three major credit bureaus’ reports, and 5 percent had an error that could make insurance and loans more expensive.

The Consumer Data Industry Association pointed out that only 2.2 percent of reports had an error that would increase consumer prices, and 88 percent of the errors were the result of inaccurate information provided by lenders and others to the credit bureaus.

The Fair Credit Reporting Act requires credit reporting agencies to conduct “reasonable investigations into claims that information is inaccurate, correct the information and report back to consumers.

It allows consumers to seek compensatory and punitive damages, as well as lawsuit costs and statutory penalties that can range from $100 to $1,000 per violation.

Goldsmith said that last summer, an Oregon woman won $18.6 million in a federal lawsuit against Equifax.

Juries are starting to get pretty annoyed with the cavalier attitude that these bureaus are taking to their responsibilities,” she said.

RTFA for the history with her bank. No one seems able to discover the source of the error. More to the point, the bank seems to be unable to check the appropriate box and report her as alive!

Some banks and just about every credit agency I ever dealt with was significantly less than competent. I say some because there are beaucoup banks staffed with IT folks able to navigate regulatory red tape to maintain accurate records. Big and small. I deal mostly with a community bank; but, maintain a relationship with one of the biggies going to BITD when I was involved in a small way with international commerce. Nowadays, even my local community bank can handle transfer of funds internationally.

And they know I’m alive.

Uncle Ben’s infused rice recalled after school lunch sickens kids

The Food and Drug Administration and Texas Department of State Health Services have alerted consumers to a recall of Uncle Ben’s Infused Rice products distributed in Texas, after children and staff at three schools in Katy became ill on Friday.

About 50 people who ate Uncle Ben’s Infused Rice Mexican Flavor at lunch on Friday complained of burning, itching, rashes, headaches and nausea, symptoms that subsided after 30 to 90 minutes.

After the incident, Mars Foodservices said that it decided to recall all of the Infused Rice products produced since Jan. 1, 2013…

Mars also said that a small amount of the rice could be purchased online and urged anyone with the product to return it.

The recall includes Infused Rice products that were sold in 5 and 25-pound bags to institutions, like schools, hospitals and prisons.

First reporting after the Katy schools sickness declared that this Uncle Ben’s preparation had already been recalled – and that schools should have known about it. Dunno if that changed, if the reports filtering through our stellar network TV news mavens were incorrect or if the correction and recall happened afterwards.

Regardless, you have to wonder what passes for risk management in large economy-size corporations. Mass poisonings even when not fatal are likely to end up in class action suits requiring a lot more cash being dispensed than in standardized insurance settlements.