Body of Alien Savior found decomposing in parking lot

A man whose body was discovered decomposing in a Southern California parking lot last week was believed by his fiancee to be an alien from another world, who had arrived on Earth to save humanity…

It’s the latest detail in a bizarre death investigation that involves a theory of extraterrestrial intelligence, intrigue — and a newly found arsenal of guns and ammo inside the man’s home…

The ordeal started July 4, while Jeffrey Lash and his fiancee of 17 years, Catherine Nebron, were at a Santa Monica grocery store. According to Nebron’s attorney, Harlan Braun, Lash suddenly fell ill and suffered a seizure.

Nebron and her employee, Dawn VadBunker, attempted to render aid.

“They worked on him for three hours, trying to revive him and then he died,” Braun said, also noting that Lash had battled cancer for more than a year.

Once it was known the man was dead, though, Braun said Nebron placed the body into her vehicle in the store’s parking lot and departed with VadBunker for Oregon. Lash’s body sat in the SUV and decomposed in the hot Southern California sun for nearly two weeks.

According to VadBunker’s mother, Laura, neither woman reported the death to authorities because they believed Lash was a half human-half alien being from another world who had come to Earth to save humanity. They also reportedly believed he’d been working secretly with the U.S. government, and that federal agents would soon come by to collect the body…

Upon returning to Southern California — and discovering that no government agency had come for her fiancĂ©’s remains — Braun said Nebron finally notified police…

However, at that point the ordeal took yet another bizarre turn.

Investigators were shocked themselves when they showed up this week at the couple’s condo — and found more than 1,200 firearms, 6 tons of ammunition, and $230,000 — entirely in cash.

The Los Angeles Police Department is trying to sort out the case — but it’s not yet known exactly why Lash died, why he had so many firearms, or how he amassed all that money.

“It does not make any sense, but it’s probably a continuation of this fantasy world where he is a secret man which he is supposed to not reveal who he really is,” Braun said…

It all seems clear to me. Obviously the alien planet Jeffrey Lash came from is secretly funding the NRA. The weapons, ammo and cash are simply the means of exchange between the planet’s overlords and their underlings here on earth.

This has to be true. Certainly you don’t think some ordinary nutball could acquire 1200 firearms and 6 tons of ammo without the help of extra-terrestrial powers.

2 thoughts on “Body of Alien Savior found decomposing in parking lot

  1. DSM5 says:

    Obviously the ancient pan-dimensional beings that control all aspects of human life provide us with all sorts of objects that can be easily fetishized and thus serve as a source of satisfaction as part of our operant conditioning.

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