Illinois Made New York And New Jersey Look Like Weedless Dorks

❝ Illinois just became the unofficial 11th state in the nation to legalize marijuana for recreational use. But more important than that, it bent legal weed hopefuls New York and New Jersey over its knee and gave them a vicious spanking that they will not soon forget. Both Eastern states have been fighting to put cannabis legalization on the books since dinosaurs walked the Earth, but everyone involved with the process keeps showing up for work in clown shoes.

❝ For whatever reason, lawmakers in that part of the country are confused about how to establish a taxed and regulated pot market while also keeping the social equity aspect in mind. And we have got to hand it to them – they almost convinced the nation that passing such a comprehensive bill through legislative channels was like pulling a shark’s teeth while it gnaws on your leg…

But then Illinois swept in last week and approved what is considered the most progressive cannabis law in the nation. And it did it just hours before lawmakers called it quits for the summer…

❝ A report from Crain’s Chicago Business indicates that the Land of Lincoln will have one of the most lucrative cannabis markets in the United States. It is a cash cow that is expected to grow in upwards of 20 times larger than its medicinal sector, creating tens of thousands of new jobs and generating revenue to the tune of $1.6 billion annually.

Much of the same could have been readily available to New York and New Jersey, but pettiness and the inability to compromise ultimately sabotaged prosperity.

❝ Nice job, dorks!

The Gobshite American President


Liam McBurney/PA

❝ Making his opening remarks at a joint press conference at Shannon Airport on Wednesday, Donald Trump, who had just flown across the Irish Sea on Air Force One, brought up Brexit and said, “I just left some very good people that are very much involved with Brexit, as you know.” Varadkar, a staunch pro-European, gave a mute nod. Since taking office, almost two years ago, he has spent an inordinate amount of time dealing with the potential fallout of Brexit for Ireland, including the tortuous question of what will become of the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic, which has been largely dismantled since the Good Friday Agreement of 1998 secured a fragile peace on the Emerald Isle. If the border issue doesn’t get resolved to the satisfaction of all parties, it could lead to the unwinding of the agreement, which would be a tragedy for Ireland.

❝ …Oblivious as ever, Trump went on, “I think it will all work out very well, and also for you with your wall, your border. I mean, we have a border situation in the United States, and you have one over here. But I hear it’s going to work out very well here.”

❝ According to Miriam Lord, a sketch writer for the Irish Times, there was “a quiet gasp” from the Irish contingent in the room when Trump said “your wall, your border.” Throughout Ireland, the dismantling of the concertina wire and military fortifications that used to disfigure parts of the line of demarcation between the twenty-six counties of the Republic and the six of Northern Ireland is seen as a massively welcome development. These days, countless people from both countries cross the border unimpeded to work, shop, or visit friends and family. Varadkar, his face a mask, didn’t react immediately. Then he reached out his right hand toward Trump and interjected politely, “The main thing we want to avoid, of course, is a border or a wall between both sides.”

I cannot describe our Buffoon-in-chief, the Fake President, as anything other than an ignoranus. Yes, he’s joined by the millions of Americans who rely solely on the proto-fascist propaganda machine calling itself “Fox News”. Even a modicum of those benighted fools are aware enough of Ireland’s history to avoid blather so utterly stupid.

It’s truly difficult waiting around for the wheels of justice to grind through the cast iron fossils guarding the White House against summary justice. I look forward to being able to send this political criminal a gift certificate for a delectable “hamburder” from the Danbury Federal Penitentiary commissary.