Golden showers? Russia knows nothing about America’s sex habits

❝ Dear Vlad,

You don’t mind if I call you, Vlad, do you? I wanted to write you about your close relationship with our president-elect, Donald J. Trump.

❝ I read recently that your intelligence agents had collected some “compromising and salacious personal information” on The Donald. A memo about this was said to be generated by a former agent of MI-6, one of Britain’s premier spook agencies, so our US news media has taken this allegation seriously.

But, really, golden showers? You say the “perverted sexual acts” worthy of blackmailing a US president consisted of renting a hotel room in Moscow where Trump hired some prostitutes to “perform a golden showers (urination) show in front of him” on the bed that president and Mrs. Obama supposedly slept in?

❝ Vlad, by your own admission in an interview with Bloomberg News, you clearly have no understanding of American culture or domestic political life…

❝ This is a country that endorses gay marriage. It celebrates the freedom of choosing your own gender. One of our most decorated male athletes at the age of 66 decided he was in fact she and ended up on the cover of Vanity Fair in a corset. We are having so much oral sex that throat cancer rates among men have shot up. Our young people publicly declare themselves to be polyamorous (Vlad, that means they sleep with lots of different people, with consent). Way back in the 1990s one of our most popular female vocalists released a coffee-table book called Sex that showed bondage, full nudity, scenes with a dog, and scenes from a New York sex club…

If the best dirt you’ve got on a our highest elected official is he hired a bunch of girls to pee on a bed, we’ve got nothing to worry about. You don’t understand freedom and democracy enough to upset it.

❝ Sincerely,

Joe Q. Public

Vlad mistakenly accepts the hypocrisy so beloved of our priests, pundits and politicians as somehow representative of what private life may decide is participatory sport in bedrooms ranging from home grown to Trumpkins. Tain’t so.

2016’s word of the year beat out post-truth, deplorables, cuck, woke, and slay for the title

❝ Every year, members of the American Dialect Society gather together to pick the best word that snuck into our lexicons the year before…And in 2016, they have not so much chosen a word as they have substantiated the state of America that predominates a hefty portion of the nation’s mindset.

The 2016 word of the year is “dumpster fire.”

❝ A metaphor that has been used by Mother Jones, The Weekly Standard, and seemingly half of Twitter during the presidential debates, it describes an unwieldy situation that has gotten out of control due to mismanagement. Often used in reference to the 2016 US election, the original GIF has been viewed over 10 million times. It became such a popular term that the AP Style Guide, a literary bible for writers and editors, changed their official syntax for “dumpster” to accommodate:

ap-stylebook

RTFA for lots more on the use and abuse of the English language. Like accepting “alt-right” as euphemism of the year.