Category: Humor

Coming soon: Ford vigilantes rescuing Tesla owners

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If there’s one thing truck owners love doing, it’s towing other people’s stuck cars out of mud, ditches, and any predicament that might require a tow strap or a winch.

Ford trucks — with the company’s “Built Ford Tough” motto and slew of advertisements about power — are no exception. Now, there’s a way for electric Ford-150 Lightning drivers to help others in need.

On Sunday, one Lightning owner shared a photo — spotted by The Verge — of a new Tesla-compatible charging adapter that Lightning owners can use to charge the competitor’s battery.

“Here you go! Lightning to the rescue. We can help all those poor dead Teslas,” the owner wrote in a Lightning forum.

Har!

Ukraine registers Russian warship they sank as ‘underwater cultural heritage’

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Ukraine has registered the shipwreck of Russia’s Moskva vessel as “underwater cultural heritage” — in a move described as “trolling” Moscow rather than having a basis in international law.

“The ‘Moskva’ missile cruiser was the flagship of the Russian fleet, and became number 2064 in the register of underwater cultural heritage of Ukraine,” the country’s defense ministry wrote on its Facebook page. “The famous cruiser and the most sunken object at the bottom of the Black Sea can be admired…”

The Russian navy’s Black Sea flagship vessel, the Moskva — a 510-crew missile cruiser and symbol of Russia’s military prowess — sank during a towing operation last week after a fire broke out on board. Ukraine claimed its troops were behind the attack and had fired missiles that sank the ship — while Moscow has said exploding ammunition inside the ship caused the fire.

Har!

Tractors symbolize Ukrainian Resistance to Russia

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Like St. Javelin and the Ghost of Kyiv before it, the humble tractor has become a symbol of Ukraine’s resistance to Russia’s invasion. Videos and pictures of tractors hauling away Russian armor have gone viral on social media. Though none have been verified, there’s half a dozen or so clips making the rounds and as they’re shared, they’re eventually turned into memes, posters, and T-Shirts. A tractor hauling away Russian armor is now as ubiquitous a symbol as the Javelin or Molotov Cocktail.

The first video appears to have surfaced online on February 28, just four days after the war started. In the video, a tractor is shown hauling away a Russian tank while someone runs alongside, desperately trying to catch up. “Ukrainian farmer steals Russian tank from right under the nose of the Russians who occupied it,” a subtitle says.

The footage spread far and wide and soon it was matched with other, similar videos and photos. A green John Deere hauled a Russian tank through a snowy street. Two tractors hauled a piece of Russian armor through a muddy field…the veracity of tractors hauling tanks doesn’t matter to people sharing the footage and transforming it into memes. It’s a powerful symbol that bolsters twin narratives about the war: Russia’s military hardware was not prepared for this war and everyone in Ukraine is ready to fight back against Russia, including farmers.

On March 1, Kyiv also announced it won’t be charging taxes on Russian assets captured by Ukrainian citizens. “Have you captured a Russian tank or armored personnel carrier and are worried about how to declare it? Keep calm and continue to defend the Motherland! There is no need to declare the captured Russian tanks and other equipment,” read the announcement.

For me, that’s the best endorsement of the reality of farmers rolling away with Russian armored vehicles hooked up to their tractors. Letting folks know in advance they won’t be taxed on their spoils of war is an absolute hoot – and spot on!

Doesn’t do the US connection any harm, either, to see how many of those tractors are John Deere Green.

US Navy refuses to deploy warship with unvaccinated Commanding Officer

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An Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyer

The U.S. Navy is refusing to deploy a destroyer while its commanding officer, who they cannot remove due to a court decision, is not vaccinated against COVID-19 despite the service’s vaccine mandate rules.

The unnamed destroyer captain is one of several service members involved in a lawsuit challenging the military-wide vaccine mandate and requesting they be granted religious exemptions to the mandate. Last month federal judge Steven D. Merryday granted the captain and a U.S. Marine officer a preliminary injunction, temporarily barring their respective services from taking any punitive action while their lawsuit continues. Unable to remove the captain, now the Navy is arguing that Merryday’s decision has sidelined the warship based out of Norfolk, Va.

Merryday’s injunction prevents the service from removing the destroyer commander from his post on the warship and replacing him. Until the lawsuit is ultimately resolved or the Navy allows the destroyer to deploy with its current commanding officer, the warship is stuck.

The most fitting commentary on this situation I’ve heard, so far, was “HAR!”

Full employment for Swedish crows

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Crows are being recruited to pick up discarded cigarette butts from the streets and squares of a Swedish city as part of a cost-cutting drive.

The wild birds carry out the task as they receive a little food for every butt that they deposit in a bespoke machine designed by a startup in Södertälje, near Stockholm.

“They are wild birds taking part on a voluntary basis,” said Christian Günther-Hanssen, the founder of Corvid Cleaning, the company behind the method…

Günther-Hanssen estimates his method could save at least 75% of costs involved with picking up cigarette butts in the city.

Important consideration in the pilot program is making certain the birds aren’t affected by the poisonous crap in cigarettes.

Would be a positive if the fools still smoking cigarettes figured that out, someday.

Thanks, Honeyman