Dumb crook of the day

Richard Dean Defeaudis

A naked burglar who hopped into a Portland, Oregon couple’s bed in the middle of the night wound up fleeing down the street after the male victim woke up and chased him with a gun, firing three shots…

Portland police say Dean Defeudis, 32, broke into a Portland home around 3 a.m. on Thursday, gathered items of value and then stripped naked, climbed into bed with a man and woman and then kissed the man.

“The victim woke up and the suspect was sitting on top of him holding a knife,” Portland Police Sergeant Pete Simpson said in a written statement. “The victim pushed the suspect off of him as the victim retrieved his handgun and began giving the suspect commands to stop.”

“The suspect put his pants on and ran out of the home, chased by the victim who fired three shots near the suspect to get him to stop,”…

Defeudis was not injured in the incident.

The male victim, who was also unhurt, was not expected to face charges in the incident…

Defeudis was treated at a local hospital for suspected drug use before being taken to Multnomah County Jail on Thursday, Simpson said.


Dumb crook of the day

Minnesota police arrested a burglary suspect who apparently forgot to log out of Facebook after checking his profile during a break-in at a St. Paul home.

The homeowner came back to his house and found that credit cards, cash and a watch were missing. The thief had also left behind a pair of Nike tennis shoes, jeans and a belt that he apparently discarded because it had been raining outside.

He also left behind his information on James Wood’s computer.

“World’s dumbest criminal,” Wood told CBS Minnesota. “I don’t know. I started to panic, but then I noticed he had pulled up his Facebook profile.”

Wood began posting on Nicholas Wig’s profile and the 26-year-old eventually texted him. After they made a plan to meet up later to exchange items, Wood went for a walk. He then spotted Wig on the street and called police…

When Wig was arrested, he was wearing Wood’s watch.


“Big Mouth Billy” scares off intruder

The crime scene of a break-in at a Rochester’s Hooked on Fishing shop showed evidence that a burglar got scared off by a motion-activated, singing bass

The novelty bass, which had been hung near the door and would start singing “Take Me to the River” whenever someone entered the shop, was found on the floor after the intruder knocked it down as part of breaking the door to get in, according to the Olmsted County Sheriff’s Office.

But the intruder appeared to have left in a hurry, without stealing anything — not tackle nor cash that had been left in “a very visible spot,” Sgt. Tom Claymon said.

The bass “took one for the team,” Claymon said. “There were plenty of things to take but nothing was missing … other than Billy’s pride”

A burglar whose level of sophistication matches that of the fish.

Dumb crook of the day

What the manager found when he arrived at work 🙂

A boneheaded burglary suspect was caught red-handed when the garage door of the store he was trying to rob slammed down on his head, trapping him there for nine hours.

Manuel Fernandes was stuck at the Rent-A-Center in Brockton, Mass. until an employee arrived around 8:45 a.m. Tuesday morning…

Police say he pried open the garage door and used a metal bed post as a support, then squeezed underneath. But the support didn’t hold, and Fernandes was pinned to the ground, the garage door resting on his head.

When John Rodriquez, a manager at the furniture and electronics store, showed up the next morning, he was shocked to see Fernandes, who said he’d been stuck there since around midnight.

Rodriquez asked Fernandes if he was okay but didn’t help him out. In video recorded on the employee’s cell phone, he’s heard telling the alleged would-be robber to “hang tight” and wait for police.

Detective Paul Bonanca says Fernandes, who told police he was homeless, complained of a headache and was taken to a hospital.

Yes – and then he was taken to jail.

Dumb crook of the Day

A burglar left behind more than fingerprints in a Bremerton, Washington home earlier this week – he left a full bag of personal belongings, including his ID.

The man was arrested when he tried to make a deal with his victims.

Early Tuesday morning, Kristin Foreman’s makeup samples, her phone and vital information from her family’s computer was stolen by a stranger, who had woken her up…

After breaking into their two cars, the burglar got into the Foreman family home through the unlocked garage door, right next to the U.S. Marine Corps flag…

While the robber grabbed Kristina’s makeup, her husband – a retired Marine sniper – came out of the bedroom with a gun. “He yelled ‘Get out now’ and the guy says ‘Yes sir,'” said Foreman…

When he ran off, he left a bag of personal belongings, including his ID, in front of the house.

Shane Jackman told police he called the family and offered to return their stolen items in exchange for his stuff…

When he arrived, police were waiting for him

Prosecutors say Shane Jackman has a long criminal history. He’s been in prison or under supervision since 1994.

Jackman is being held on $100,000 bail.

Throw away the key. And get him some counseling while he’s on the inside. Dude needs it.

Homeowner cleared after defending himself and his family

Mr. Cooke – coppers in tidy suits – the late armed invader

A homeowner arrested on suspicion of murder after the death of an intruder at his property has been cleared of any wrongdoing.

Vincent Cooke, 39, was initially arrested by police on suspicion of murder after stabbing one of two men suspected of trying to burgle his home in Manchester. Police said that during the break-in the intruder smashed down his door and threatened him with a knife before Mr Cooke allegedly stabbed the intruder Raymond Jacob, 37, six times. His wife Karen, 34, and 12-year-old son returned home during the incident but escaped unharmed.

He was due to answer bail later this month, but the Crown Prosecution Service has decided has that Mr Cooke acted in reasonable self-defence…

A 33-year-old man is in custody charged with aggravated burglary in connection with the incident and is next due to appear in court in December.

In a statement issued through his lawyers, Mr Cooke said…”I am most relieved that the CPS have decided not to charge me with any offence. It has been a living nightmare for me and I’m still suffering flashbacks of the incident,” he said…”I hope to now be able to get on with my life but will never forget the day that I had to fight for my life.”

Nazir Afzal, chief crown prosecutor for the North West area, said after considering the evidence Mr Cooke should not face charges as he acted “honestly and instinctively” at the time of the attack…

“As crown prosecutors we look at all cases on their merit and according to the evidence in the individual case. I am satisfied that this is a case where a householder, faced with armed intruders in frightening circumstances, acted in reasonable self defence.

“The law is clear that anyone who acts in good faith in using whatever force they honestly feel is necessary to protect themselves, their families or their property will not be prosecuted for such action.”

Ministers are planning to clarify the law on self-defence in England, after a string of cases where homeowners have faced prosecution for defending their property…

Under the current law, home owners who use “reasonable force” – which is no more than is absolutely necessary – to protect themselves against intruders should not be prosecuted.

I wonder sometimes how the bureaucrats of law and jurisprudence put together the silliness they write. Reading the text of this law, how it’s to be put to use by coppers who are on the streets to protect and serve the body politic – it sounds like three law clerks who failed in politics were sitting in their club sipping sherry and contriving a giggle just to drive people mad.

Are you supposed to have a government form available for an intruder to fill out – listing the levels of violence he intends as harm to you, your family and household?

Brits seem to be limited to kitchen cutlery. Sorry, but, I’m glad this is one of the occasions I’d rather face with firearms. I know enough to miss shooting my wife or myself. I damned well won’t miss an intruder.

Klutzy burglar goes for Darwin Award

A man found dead in a University District apartment this afternoon apparently was a burglar who broke out a window with his arm, then bled to death after he severed an artery, police said.

Columbus police were called to Apt. C at 119 Chittenden Ave. shortly before 2 p.m. by three Ohio State University roommates who had just returned back to their apartment after a long Labor Day weekend at home.

They came inside to find a man dead in the living room and blood everywhere.

“By all accounts, it looks like a burglary,” said Sgt. Steven Little of the Columbus police homicide squad. Little said it appears the man severed an artery in his arm on glass after he broke out a window in the apartment with his fist…

Police…didn’t release the names of the Ohio State students who live in the apartment. This afternoon, the three men – all seniors at Ohio State – were still talking with police behind crime tape. Little said the men had just moved into the apartment last week.

The sergeant said the burglar had attempted to stem the bleeding by wrapping paper towels from the kitchen around his arm.

Holiday weekends are always a great time to rob students. Or die trying.

Family arrested after burgler stabbed to death – UPDATED

A suspected burglar was stabbed to death during a break-in at a house in Salford, police said on Thursday.

Greater Manchester Police said the victim was one of a gang of four men, some wearing balaclavas, who were believed to have been trying to break into the house in the Pendlebury area of the city just before midnight on Wednesday.

Officers were alerted to reports of a burglary and as police headed to the scene, they also received reports that a group of men had been seen carrying an injured man into a nearby road.

They discovered the 26-year-old with stab wounds there and he was taken to hospital where he was pronounced dead. [He’s been identified as John Bennell]

“The man who has died was one of the persons trying to get into the rear of the address — that’s what we believe at this stage,” Chief Superintendent Kevin Mulligan told reporters.

Police said two men, aged 59 and 27, and a 21-year-old woman had been arrested on suspicion of murder at the address.

The BBC said the arrested trio were the householder, his son and the son’s girlfriend [Who called the coppers while the invasion was in progress]

On Tuesday, Prime Minister David Cameron announced plans to protect homeowners who used force to defend their homes against criminals.

“The public have rightly been outraged by some prosecutions of homeowners defending their property from criminals,” he said.

“So we’ll put beyond doubt that homeowners and small shopkeepers who use reasonable force to defend themselves or their properties will not be prosecuted.”

I would hope that even in a nation self-destructive enough to put the Tories in power there would be public and political support for someone to defend home and family from violent crooks. If the incident is described correctly, this wasn’t some lout trying to pinch a free copy of the DAILY MAIL from a newsie. These thugs broke into the Flanagan home invasion style.

The son’s girlfriend called the coppers; but, they didn’t have the time for a proper roundtable discussion on how much of their personal property should be handed over to these thugs – or whether they should kneel or lay on the floor in the course of whatever assault these gangbangers wished to attempt.

Although we have our own version of the Pacifist Left here in the States – those who would question any right of self-defense – there still are a number of cranky Old Lefties like me whose homes are as well-armed and defended as similar domiciles on the conservative side of town. Get yourself a licensed shotgun for varmint hunting. They work just fine at short range on larger beasts.

UPDATE: Mr. Flanagan finally released – free of charges.

Laptop camera + “Hidden” = laptop thief’s arrest

thief, Joshua Kaufman's MacBook

When a burglar stole Joshua Kaufman’s laptop, the police wouldn’t help him find it – so he turned to the Internet.

“I came home late on a Monday night in March, and someone had broken into my apartment through my window,” Kaufman, an Oakland, Calif. resident, told the Daily News. The thief made off with his MacBook, his Kindle, and a few pieces of jewelry, stuffed into a computer bag.

Kaufman called the police who filed a report on the incident, but they quickly shelved the case as a low priority. Luckily, he also remembered he had installed a security program on his computer called “Hidden,” which works to track a stolen device by triangulating its location and taking photographs with the computer’s camera.

He didn’t see anything for a few days after activating the program, but then he hit the jackpot.”The following Thursday I started getting images and location information,” he said. “I was amazed. I was like, this thing actually works!”

Hidden” captured a series of images of a man using the stolen computer – snapping him riding in a car, browsing Middle Eastern YouTube music videos, changing the device’s administrative profile, and even typing in his work email address to access a Facebook account.

Using this information, Kaufman was able to tie the man to a cab company affiliated with the email address he entered, and pinpoint his location to within just a few blocks. “I was excited, honestly,” Kaufman said, thinking he’d cracked the case and police would be able to “nail him.” But they brushed the evidence off, explaining they didn’t have the manpower to pursue it despite the leads.

Frustrated, Kaufman posted the pictures online to a Tumblr blog called “This Guy Has My Macbook,” which quickly drew thousands of fans and Twitter followers. “It feels like the power of the Internet is on my side,” he said.

Soon he was flooded with requests from media outlets who also contacted the police, forcing them to take a second look. “They said, we’re really sorry you fell through the cracks,” Kaufman said Tuesday night, after he was finally contacted by Officer Holly Joshi, the Oakland police department’s director of public relations…

After two months of ignoring Kaufman’s information, Oakland police kicked the search into high gear on Tuesday night and were able to nab the man caught on camera.

The police department’s excuse is the same everywhere. Mostly crap.

The information provided was sufficient for an arrest. There was nothing additional needed when they finally got round to grabbing this punk.

Dumb [camouflaged] Crook of the Day

Imagine the police dog handler’s surprise when the canine snapped at the ground, and the ground cried out.

That was how a police dog found a camouflaged burglary suspect, authorities in Washington County, Oregon, said Thursday.

The dog alerted his handler that he smelled something on the ground about a half-mile from the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals in Hillsboro, Oregon.

The movement of the suspect spooked the dog, who bit the ground, which “cried out in pain,” said Sgt. David Thompson.

The ground turned out to be a man dressed in a ghillie suit, made to resemble trees and earth, he said. Military snipers and hunters often wear the camouflaged suit.

Gregory Liascos of nearby Portland, Oregon, was charged with burglary and criminal mischief, Thompson said. Liascos, 36, has no criminal history and was lodged in the Washington County Jail pending a hearing, authorities said. He was treated on the scene for the dog bite on his shoulder blade.

Nothing was taken from the museum, said Thompson. He theorized the suspect was perhaps interested in a collection of gold nuggets…

The museum, which once was a residence, is popular with school groups.

It’s still not clear which sort of loony this guy is? Did he think he was evading identification via any cameras monitoring the interior of the museum? A ski mask would have covered that.

Since he arrived by bicycle carrying a backpack you can assume the camo coveralls were inside. Did anyone notice a hummock riding a bicycle down the road to the museum? And if he was preparing to hide disguised as terrain after the burglary, what did he plan on going with said bicycle and backpack?

He qualifies for the [non]intelligence level required for the usual life of crime.