Autocorrect nightmare: cannibalism instead of cannabis

❝ Canada is one step closer to the accidental legalization of cannibalism after the House of Commons passed a typo-ridden Bill C-45, formerly known as The Cannabis Act.

“I think no one wanted to be the one to point out the error,” MP Sara Anderson said. “We all thought someone else would do it, and then they called the vote, and here we are, all voting to legalize cannibalism.”


Thanks, Corn

A traditional hero – and a hero’s welcome

House of Commons Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers was lauded by members of Parliament Wednesday for his reported role in stopping an assailant who killed a Canadian Forces member in Ottawa.

Vickers, 58, a native of Miramichi, N.B., was reportedly in the House of Commons when a gunman entered sometime after 9:52 a.m…Two sources told The Canadian Press that Vickers shot the assailant inside the Hall of Honour, the main entrance to the Centre Block beneath the Peace Tower…

Vickers became the sergeant-at-arms in the House of Commons eight years ago after a varied career in security that included protecting foreign dignitaries and members of the Royal Family.

He spent 29 years with the RCMP and rose to the rank of chief superintendent, often serving as the face of the national police force in New Brunswick. Before his appointment as sergeant-of-arms, Vickers was director of security operations for the House of Commons.

A copper’s copper. He doesn’t need to celebrate doing his job. He just goes ahead and does it.

Canadian parliament uptight over baby! But, not really…

A New Democrat MP from Quebec is pleased to learn her baby is welcome back in the House of Commons after being asked earlier to remove the infant.

Rookie MP Sana Hassainia gave birth last November to her first child, a son named Skander-Jack in memory of the late Jack Layton.

The 37-year-old — who, like her elected colleagues, is not entitled to go on maternity leave — returned recently to work, but because she is breastfeeding, her husband and baby join her on Parliament Hill.

Hassainia said she was just finishing breastfeeding her son when a vote related to the bill to abolish the long-gun registry was called.

After searching in vain for her husband, she brought the three-month-old baby inside. That was when a page — one of the students who work in the Commons delivering messages to MPs — told her the baby had to go…

“He told me that certain MPs had noted the presence of my baby in the Commons and that it was forbidden and so I had to remove him…”

“I think it was a misunderstanding,” said Hassainia, adding that Commons Speaker Andrew Scheer has reassured her that she can bring Skander-Jack…back in whenever she needs to. She noted other MPs will be able to do the same…

A spokeswoman for Scheer said booting the baby out of the room was never his intention.

“Speaker Scheer had asked a page to go over and ask a group of MPs that were standing around and taking pictures of a member with her baby to please take their seat because the vote was about to start,” Heather Bradley told the Star on Wednesday.

“The vote clock was at zero. It was about to start. Pictures are not allowed to be taken in the chamber, so that was the problem he had. But he also wanted the vote to get started, so it had nothing to do with the baby…”

Still, some MPs called for clarification of the rules on Wednesday to prevent a similar misunderstanding from happening in the future.

Let’s just put it down to undisciplined enthusiasm by the young page. It makes for a humorous memory since, thankfully, it was just a mistake instead of cardboard politicians living by the wrong rulebook.