Condom guaranteeing a bigger, better stiffy gets EU approval

Field expedient

A British medical company has had its erection-enhancing condom recommended for European approval.

Futura Medical said its CSD500 condom — licensed to pharmaceutical firm Reckitt Benckiser for sale under its Durex brand has gel in its tip that dilates the arteries and increases blood flow to the penis, resulting in a firmer and bigger erection…

In a double blind clinical study comparing CSD500 against a standard condom co-sponsored by Futura, of those who expressed a preference, a significant proportion of both men and women reported improvements in the firmness of the man’s erection during intercourse when using CSD500, compared against a standard condom, the company said.

Furthermore, of those who expressed a preference, a significant proportion of both men and women also felt that CSD500 increased the penis size and a significant proportion of women reported a longer lasting sexual experience.

There are just too many reasons why I consider this hilarious – including the fact that our culture considers this a target area for beneficial research in the first place. Coming from a dude who’s lived the admittedly non-conformist life that I have – that’s saying a great deal.

The article, the product, people’s concerns just make me fall on the floor from laughter.


Christian Lawyers sue gallery over ‘blasphemous’ erection

Representatives for a gallery in Gateshead appeared in court yesterday charged with outraging public decency, after featuring a statue of Jesus with an erection.

The artwork was part of the Baltic Centre for Contemporary Art’s September 2007-January 2008 exhibition Gone, Yet Still, by the controversial Chinese artist Terence Koh, which featured dozens of plaster figures including Mickey Mouse and ET – all in some state of arousal.

Lawyers for Emily Mapfuwa, a 40-year-old Christian who was offended by the artwork, launched a private prosecution against the gallery for outraging public decency and causing harassment, alarm and distress to the public.

Christian Legal Centre – an organisation that aims to “promote and protect the biblical freedoms of Christian believers in the United Kingdom” – agreed to pay her legal costs…A CLC spokesman said Mapfuwa believed in freedom of expression, but “this statue served no other purpose than to offend Christians and to denigrate Christ”.

Let’s face it, folks. If your quasi-mythical Jesus was a man, he had erections. If he didn’t, he was in need of medical care.