Tennessee coppers fretting about Meth-Gators


Daniel Kuykendall/Getty

❝ Police in Tennessee are warning residents to stop flushing methamphetamine, the drug more commonly known as “meth”, down the toilet for fear that alligators in the sewage system could ingest the drug to create hyped-up “meth-gators”…warning that “our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth”.

The notice continued: “Ducks, geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do. Furthermore, if it made it far enough we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama.

Erm. OK. Not personally acquainted with any Tennessee speed freaks; but, if I bump into one, I’ll tell them The Man is worried.

Thanks, Helen

6000 gallons of Scotch accidentally flushed down the drain

The night shift at a Chivas Brothers distillery screwed up this week and accidentally flushed about 6,000 gallons of Scotch whisky down the drain…

The 80-proof goof happened early Tuesday at a bottling plant in Dumbarton, where workers were cleaning equipment. Instead of purging the wastewater, they instead expelled 18,000 liters of bulk whisky into the local sewage system…

No one at Chivas noticed until 11 a.m., but local sewage crews had gotten a good whiff of the scotch-and-water problem and were attempting to identify the source long before the distiller reported what had happened.

“Discharging large volumes of alcohol into the sewer network can have an adverse impact on wastewater treatment processes, particularly during dry, cold weather,” Scottish Water said in a statement, the BBC reported. “We are continuing to closely monitor our Dumbarton wastewater treatment works to ensure treatment has not been compromised…”

The company said it was investigating.

Someone managed to pull off a double OOPS! They flushed $750,000 worth of decent booze down the drain – and probably poisoned a chunk of the sewer treatment plant, as well.

Phew.

Costly military plans for Iraqi civilians fall apart


Jadriyah Lake in better days

In the spring of 2008, Gen. David H. Petraeus decided he had spent enough time gazing from his helicopter at an empty and desolate lake on the banks of the Tigris River. He ordered the lake refilled and turned into a water park for all of Baghdad to enjoy.

The military doctrine behind the project holds that cash can be as effective as bullets. Under Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq at the time, that principle gained unprecedented emphasis, and it has become a cornerstone of the war effort in Afghanistan, now under Petraeus’s command.

But today the Baghdad park is nearly waterless, more than two years after a U.S. military inauguration ceremony that included a marching band and water-scooter rides. Much of the compound is in ruins, swing sets have become piles of twisted steel, and the personal watercraft’s engines have been gutted for spare parts…

In many cases, such as that of the Jadriyah Lake park, the investments under the plan, known as the Commander’s Emergency Response Program, have created no more than a temporary illusion of progress. They have also shown a lack of U.S. foresight and highlighted the shortcomings of an Iraqi government the Americans were trying to boost…

We did run a danger of looking like Nero playing the fiddle while Rome burned,” Lt. Col. Dennis Yates said in a recent interview…

Bread and Circuses was the first thought I had about the project. Our military hasn’t advanced any further beyond Nero than has Congress over the Roman Senate.

Gen. Ray Odierno, who from 2007 to 2010 held each of the top two military jobs in Iraq, declined to be interviewed for this article. He has called the Commander’s Emergency Response Program one of the key factors that allowed U.S. commanders to improve security in Baghdad…

“Our efforts were often derailed by the military losing millions of dollars in CERP funding in the name of ‘If we don’t spend it, we will lose the money to the Afghanistan effort,’ ” wrote Blake Stone, an adjunct professor at the United States Naval War College.

RTFA. Several pages – brightened essentially by the ease of lifting money from the US military with no accountability. Brigands accustomed to stealing from ordinary civilian institutions in the Middle East must have felt like Iraq became the Promised Land when they saw Americans bringing in money by the pallet-load to distribute to schemes with little or no chance of bearing fruit.