London coppers have a problem with criminal clowns

Police in London have dealt with over a hundred incidents involving ‘clowns’ in the past year – and crime statistics show it is no laughing matter.

The Metropolitan Police responded to 117 incidents featuring the word ‘clown’, a Freedom of Information request by regular contributor to the Independent on Sunday Richard Osley has revealed.

The incidents include once case of assault where the suspect had “clown like” shoes on, another assault where the suspect was dressed as a clown with a painted face and a burglary where the suspect’s hair is described “like Krusty’ the Clown.”

A “malicious communication” incident saw someone be threatened with a visit from henchmen in ‘clown’ masks…

And in 39 incidents the victim was called a clown as an insult. In one instance the victim was wearing a Pierrot suit when he was robbed, according to the FoI…

In November last year, police in Norfolk vowed to track down pranksters dressing up as clowns and offer them “strong words of advice” after two “alarming” reports of people being chased – but added that dressing up as a clown is not actually illegal.

How did they ever manage to keep Parliament off the clown-crime roster?

Are these the sleaziest coppers on Earth – stealing ID’s of dead children as cover for domestic spying?

The Metropolitan Police covertly stole the identities of about 80 dead children for use in operations by undercover police officers, according to a new investigation.

The practice, condemned as “gruesome” by Keith Vaz, the chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee, carried on for three decades as a means for police to infiltrate anti-racist, anti-capitalist and far-right protest groups. Officers obtained passports, driving licences and national insurance numbers under their new identities.

Two former members of the Met’s undercover Special Demonstration Squad told The Guardian they had adopted the identity of a dead child after scanning birth and death records to find a suitable match.

“You are looking for someone of a similar age to you who died, starting at age three or four and up to age 14 or 15,” said “Pete Black”, the adopted identity of a former undercover policeman who infiltrated environmental activist groups from 1993 to 1997. Victims of the identity theft included an eight-year-old boy who had died from leukaemia in 1968, and another who was killed in a car crash, said the report. Parents of the dead children were never made aware of the practice.

The Met said in a statement that…the practice was not “currently” authorised.

Give an ethically-challenged police body the opportunity and they will return to the worst of their practices. Many young people have a vague notion of what the FBI and their local lackeys did during the COINTELPRO days. The Red Squads are all behind us – we’re told.

Today, we witness discussions in Congress – with the White House occupied by a moderately conservative Democrat with a solid law degree from Harvard – on how the president can judge someone guilty and sentence him to death. No jury of his peers. The practice is only “currently” authorised.

We shouldn’t worry.

Locks changed — after coppers lose the keys to Wembley Stadium

The locks at London’s Olympic football final venue Wembley Stadium have had to be changed, after police responsible for security at the world-famous sports arena lost their keys…

Scotland Yard sent a team of detectives to the site to search for the missing set, but despite determining that they had not been stolen, officers were unable to find them.

As a result, Olympic Games organizers and embarrassed police chiefs decided that all internal locks inside the 90,000-seat stadium would have to be replaced…

Police insist – “There is absolutely no security concern in relation to the stadium, as measures were taken immediately to secure all key areas of the venue,” the Metropolitan Police said in a statement.

The cost of replacing all the high-tech laser keys used at Wembley is expected to run into tens of thousands of dollars.

Har.

They sent out the higher-paid version of the lads who lost the keys — to find the keys, eh?

Scotland Yard reaffirms — there is no patch for stupid!


Inspector Lestrade gets it wrong, again!

Scotland Yard has inadvertently shared the email addresses of around 1,000 victims of crime with each other, in a mistake that has been referred to the information commissioner.

The Metropolitan police said emails were sent out to 1,136 victims, mostly of car theft or pickpockets, as part of a survey… But the addresses were put in the wrong section of the email, which meant they were shared with other victims.

A Met spokesman said: “No other personal details were revealed and we are contacting everyone affected to explain what happened and to apologise…”

The emails were sent as part of the survey into whether victims felt they were receiving a better service following the introduction of a single telephone number for the investigation unit in London. They were sent in seven batches of between 119 and 198 recipients…

A spokeswoman for the Information Commissioner’s Office said it had received the referral and it was being examined.

She said the highest fine the office could issue was £500,000 but that was for breaches of data of an extremely sensitive nature, for example the sharing of details about child sexual assault victims.

This only qualifies as clumsy, incompetent and maybe stupid.

Terror checks at Heathrow were racist – phonied up to look busy

Heathrow counter-terrorism officers regularly put passengers with Arabic names on a security database to make it appear as though they had been busy, a tribunal was told.

Former Det Con Kevin Maxwell said Metropolitan Police detectives would routinely sift through landing cards of foreign nationals and randomly type their details into a police database, without ever seeing the passengers.

The former officer, who is black and homosexual, was giving evidence at an employment tribunal, where he is suing the force for homophobic attitudes and racial discrimination. The case is expected to last six weeks.

He said colleagues working with him in the counter-terrorism unit at Heathrow’s Terminal 5 would take the landing cards, filled in by visitors, from an unmanned Border Agency desk. They copied the details into the police’s database. It was claimed that the practice was widespread throughout the counter terrorism unit at Heathrow, to keep up the Metropolitan Police stop figures…

He said counter-terrorism officers would target black and Asian people for random stops in a queue at the airport.

To avoid being seen as racist another officer would also talk to a white person directly in front of them. However, the white person’s details would not be entered into the police database, Det Con Maxwell said.

Cripes, I hope this tale hasn’t made it to TSA here in the States. All they need is a suggestion for yet another way to game the system.