Condescending Corporate Brand Page engages – condescendingly

corporate facebook
Click to visit these silly people

Like the boss who wants to hang out with you on a Saturday, corporate Facebook brand pages can get a little weird. What’s with all the personal questions? And please stop asking me if I like you.

Which is why it’s hard to believe that it took till now for someone to create Condescending Corporate Brand Page, a pitch-perfect mockery of every desperate advertiser’s milquetoast attempt to be your social media pal.

“We’re a big corporate brand using Facebook,” reads the page’s description. “So look out for us asking you to like and share our stuff in a faintly embarrassing and awkward way.”

On Thursday morning, the page greeted its fans with a picture of a black man’s hand shaking a white man’s hand. “If you don’t click on this post,” read the text, “we’ll assume you’re a racist…”

The joke has now extended to Twitter as well. On Thursday, the site launched Twitter.com/Corporate_Brand, which, according to its description, intends to tailor the mockery to the platform…

And of course, this being social media, fans of the page get to contribute.

“Wow. I just felt like I absolutely had to engage with you guys and let you know how great your brand page is!” wrote one fan. “Knowing how engaged I am right now, I was also wondering if there was a way I could spend more at yourcondescendingstores?

Educated, sophisticated British humour. Good wry chuckle for a Sunday morning.

Tea Party candidate claims bicycles are a socialist UN plot

Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes says a Denver bike-sharing program could threaten residents’ “personal freedoms” because it is part of an attempt to control U.S. cities.

Maes said last week that an international environmental group that promotes Denver’s B-Cycle program is part of a “greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty.”

The group to which Maes was referring, the International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives, is an association with more than 1,200 communities as members, half of which are in the United States…

Maes made the comments at a rally where he criticized Democratic Mayor John Hickenlooper’s initiative to increase bicycling in the Denver through the bike-sharing program. B-Cycle allows people to use about 400 bicycles at dozens of stations around the city for a daily or monthly fee.

This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms,” Maes said in comments that were first reported Wednesday by the Denver Post…

Nate Strauch told The Associated Press that Maes was trying to say that the biking initiative is a “gateway program” being pushed by ECLEI on cities that eventually lead to extreme measures, such as the promotion of abortions and population control.

This obviously presents a realistic danger to Colorado residents. Denver’s membership in this heinous plot has only been around for eighteen years.

Anyone feel subverted, yet?

Daimler, Nissan and Renault announce group hug!

German carmaker Daimler is to give Renault and Nissan a 3.1% stake in its business as part of a global tie-up of the brands, it has been announced.

In exchange, Daimler will take a 3.1% stakes in both Renault and Nissan, who have been in an alliance since 1999. The deal will see the companies remain separate, but allow them to share technology and development costs.

The carmakers will co-operate to make electric cars and light commercial vehicles, Nissan said.

Commenting on the deal, Daimler’s chairman Dr Dieter Zetsche said…”We know that we can make brand-typical products based on shared architectures. The individual brand identities will remain unaffected.”

The companies will co-operate on the development of the Smart car brand – made by Daimler – and a new Renault Twingo, including electric versions, the companies said.

Engines currently made by Renault-Nissan will also be modified to fit a new range of compact Mercedes Benz cars.

Carlos Ghosn, chairman and chief executive of the Renault-Nissan Alliance, said…”The name of the game is to be present everywhere. You have to be present in all of the emerging markets, and in every segment in those markets.”

“No small or medium car manufacturer can afford that.”

Based on 2009 sales figures, Renault-Nissan is the fourth-biggest car maker in the world, with annual sales of 6.1 million vehicles.

It ain’t ever going to be easy, though. Witness the failure of the Daimler-Chrysler attempt.

OTOH, Renault-Nissan has worked quite well. Something that may reflect the global view of Ghosn as much as anything else.

He’s an interesting dude to read, BTW.

US-EU learn to work together, spy together – on each other’s citizens

The United States and European Union are close to an agreement to share private data of their citizens, including credit card information, travel history and internet browsing information.

Negotiations that begun in February 2007 however have to yet address whether Europeans can sue the US government for mishandling information, according to an internal report on the potential agreement obtained by the New York TIMES

One of the unresolved issues is the EU’s privacy rights claims that would allow its citizens to sue the US government for any mishandling of their information, under the US Privacy Act of 1974.

Officials consulted by the Times said Bush would like to sign the agreement before he leaves office in January and while EU members nations can still approve it individually, before they hand ratification power over to the European Parliament.

Is there any limit to the sum of corruption these thugs are capable of?