[Maybe not so] Dumb Crook of the Day

This time it was the intruder who called 911.

A man who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon, called police — afraid the homeowner may have a gun.

The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, according to Portland police.

Accompanied by two German shepherds, the homeowner asked Chapek what he was doing in the house.

Chapek locked himself in the bathroom and made an emergency call, police said. He said he had broken into the house, the owner had come home, and that he was concerned the owner might have a gun.

The homeowner also called the police to report that he had found a man in the house.

Police with dogs took Chapek, 24, into custody “without incident,” they said. He was booked for criminal trespass.

The police statement didn’t say whether or not the homeowner really had a gun. Har.

A winter treat as Geminid meteors sparkle in December sky

Flaming rocks will soon begin hurtling toward the Earth with the arrival of the annual Geminid meteor shower, one of the biggest of the year.

The peak of the week-long shower will come just before dawn on Tuesday, but the shooting stars will also be visible across the world late in the weekend, says Rebecca Johnson, editor of StarDate magazine from the McDonald Observatory near Fort Davis, Texas.

Where skies are clear, the viewing will be best “before dawn on Tuesday. It starts to get light an hour before sunrise, so any time before that is going to be a good time to look,” she says…

Meteors of course aren’t falling stars. In the case of the Geminid shower, they’re tiny pieces of debris breaking off an asteroid called 3200 Phaethon as it orbits the sun. Although the shower was first seen in the 1860s, the asteroid wasn’t discovered until 1983…

But what’s producing the meteor showers hardly matters considering how lovely they are. For those who can’t make it out Tuesday morning, the meteors will be visible for two days before the peak and a day or two afterwards, just not as plentiful.

It’s “a great shower that many people never see” because they come during cold weather, says NASA’s Bill Cooke. “The Perseids get all the press. It’s much nicer to be out on a warm August night then to be freezing your rear in December.”

Uh, yes.

Although we get up well before dawn – and it’s worth stumbling around outside to see what we can see.

Brit perve goes for Darwin Award

A British man has died following a sado-masochistic sex session with a woman who claims to be “Europe’s most perverted dominatrix”.

The 58-year-old client, who drove a BMW car, collapsed in a shower after an “intense session” with prostitutes calling themselves Mistress Lucrezia and Mistress Juno, at their villa near Brecht, Belgium…

They have been arrested and charged with assault and battery leading to death, without intent to kill…

Mistress Lucrezia, 46, has a website which says she considers herself a “Creative Artist Perverted Sadist” who offers “bondage, humiliation, torture, education and cross-dressing”.

It says: “Sessions can last from one hour, and even up to three days.

“I specialise in extreme medical and long sessions. Beware, I am not a softie.

I’m sadistic, intelligent and perverse. In my nature, I’m a sadist of the worst kind…”

A female neighbour: “This is a quiet street where families live. But after her arrival here there were suddenly all these expensive cars arriving, many with foreign license plates.

“I finally complained to the police after scantily-clad people were turning up on my doorstep because they had got the wrong house.