Dress like this guy — while acting like this guy
Swiss banking giant UBS has issued a strict dress code for employees, calling on them to wear “skin-coloured” lingerie and to ditch “fancy and coloured” artificial fingernails.
In a document stretching to more than 40 pages, UBS described a head to toecompany dress code, including permissible hairstyles, what cut of skirt and which type of socks to wear.
Women should not wear “flashy” jewellery or skirts that are “too tight behind.”
Underwear must not be “visible against clothing or spilling out of clothing.” Rather, they should be “skin-coloured under white shirts…”
Men should wear a “straight-cut two button jacket and pants that make up part of a classic professional suit.”
They should not wear ties that do not match the “morphology of the face” nor socks with cartoon motifs. And suits for both women and men must be either grey, black or navy blue.
Women are restricted to wearing seven items of jewellery.
“The reputation of UBS makes up our most precious asset. Adopting an irreproachable behaviour implies having an impeccable presentation,” said the bank, which has been trying to rebuild its reputation since suffering record losses during the financial crisis.
In the document, employees are also advised to avoid smelling of strong perfume, garlic, onion or cigarette smoke.
Somehow, I doubt if the smooth-talking gangsters who promulgated illegitimate mortgage loans, the cluster-grope that led eventually to illicit derivatives traded in private closets – dressed in any fashion outside the rules and rote of this code of appearances. If anything, appearances ruled their criminal activities – working to conceal the corruption of what their business had become.