❝ If you read enough Twitter…you’ll find a narrative of persistent persecution against white men. And just like any good conspiracy theory, the systematic disenfranchisement of white guys makes it to Hollywood. This month, a number of people — some with their own convoluted logic, some just straight-up racist — took umbrage with a fictional galaxy…We have tissues and violins at our desk if anyone wants to weep for the poor slighted souls who have seen themselves as the hero of virtually every single movie since the beginning of cinema…
❝ Kong: Skull Island (March 10)
Reason to Boycott: After director Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ Twitter rant excoriating the white supremacist sitting next to him on a plane, it’s time to turn the tweets back against him…
❝ Beauty and the Beast (March 17)
Reason to Boycott: A smart, independent young woman sets out on a quest to save her dad, transforming a vulnerable beast who desperately needs to be loved.
❝ Ghost in the Shell (March 31)
Reason to Boycott: Re-casting a Japanese character as a basically nude Scarlett Johansson? Great. But hold up—you’re saying the fate of our world relies on a woman’s ability to use technology?
❝ The Circle (April 28)
Reason to Boycott: …the man behind that message—Dave Eggers — is the literal WORST: a San Franciscan…radical vegan hybrid driver…who believes in helping hardworking undocumented students find money for college.
❝ Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (May 5)
Reason to Boycott: …this movie, explicitly cast to be “inclusive,” was written by a guy who thinks Trump is a “dumbshit.”
Alien: Covenant (May 19)
Reason to Boycott: …Alien: Covenant follows in the footsteps of Alien, a—gulp—explicitly feminist movie. Ripley, you’re out.
❝ Wonder Woman (June 2)
Reason to Boycott: Diana Prince’s…fearless feminist…and the DC movie is a nightmare for anyone yearning for an age when “women were women.”
❝ Spider-Man: Homecoming (July 7)
Reason to Boycott: Peter Parker, prototypical white nerd who acquires superpowers…and a high school that’s as diverse as his Queens upbringing actually would be, featuring black, Guatemalan, and Filipino actors.
❝ Star Wars: Episode VIII (December 15)
Reason to Boycott: Brave, resourceful Rey (Daisy Ridley) has already given young girls everywhere a way to see themselves as heroes within the Star Wars universe…intergalactic protagonists aren’t supposed to wear dresses.
Same as it ever was. Only we’re all lucky enough to have more than we used to. The reality is that Rogue One broke the record for a Thursday night preview at $74 million. The fools who stayed away get lonelier every day.
Maybe Trump will institute a government censorship office that will put the same lid on movies his Chump followers wear on their brains.