Republican pandemic relief includes Billion$ for new FBI Headquarters near Trump Hotel

Senate Republicans have included billions in funding to the Pentagon in their coronavirus relief bill, which would go…to fund construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall, along with just under $2 billion to rebuild FBI headquarters…

Sen. Patrick Leahy, D-Vt., criticized the bill in a statement to CNN, saying it “contains billions of dollars for programs unrelated to the coronavirus, including over $8 billion for what appears to be a wish-list from the Department of Defense for manufacturing of planes, ships, and other weapons systems…”

The bill also grants about $1.8 billion to rebuild the FBI headquarters, a move that Democrats claim creates a conflict of interest for Trump, since the building is located across the street from a hotel owned by the president.

Most of the 2-party slugs in Congress don’t qualify for jobs digging ditches around the manure pile generated by the White House. Per usual, the Republican Party offers up the worst examples of payoffs and paybacks to Wall Street buddies and that creepy gangster in the White House.

Same as it ever was. Smells a bit worse, though…doing this while people are dying from the pandemic.

Russian Orthodox Church allowed to repay debts with prayers

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A Russian regional court has ruled that an Orthodox Church diocese can repay part of an outstanding debt in prayers rather than money.

In a ruling that went viral Thursday, the Nizhegorodsky Regional Court said the local Russian Orthodox Church diocese can repay 258,000 rubles it owes for the installation of a boiler system — along with an additional 65,000 rubles in fines and legal fees — by praying for the health of the company that installed the system.

According to the court ruling, which was issued in October, the procedure cost 916,000 rubles, of which the diocese originally paid approximately half. The diocese still owes an additional 200,000 rubles for the boiler system, which the court said should be paid in money.

Please, please, let no one tell the religious nutballs in the Republican Party about this. They’ll add it to the combination of tax copouts and social backwardness they call religious liberty. Just one more silly belief seeping from 14th Century minds that fear constitutional democracy and science.

Your tax dollars at work: The FBI guide to acronyms and slang

They may be the most feared group of investigators in the world, but FBI agents still need a hand understanding internet slang like LOL and BRB, it has been revealed.

Agents who find themselves baffled by abbreviations on message boards or social media have an extensive guide to turn to, which has been released to the public under Freedom of Information laws.

The document – which is 83 pages long – includes 2,800 translations, from everyday terms such as LOL (‘laughing out loud’) and BRB (‘be right back’).

Any crack investigators left scratching their heads at 2DAY or L8R also have them helpfully parsed to ‘today’ and ‘later’, according to the document published by Muckrock.

But as well as the commonplace and the obvious, it also features lengthier and more exotic examples like PMYMHMMFSWGAD (‘Pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn’) or EOTWAWKI (‘end of the world as we know it’).

Some seem particular appropriate to agents working in counter-intelligences, who may not be surprised to find their targets writing phrases like SIW (‘someone is watching’) and IKWYL (‘I know where you live’).

One particularly relevant – and worrying – entry is IITYWIMIWHTKY (‘If I tell you what it means I will have to kill you’).

The instructional forward notes — The list has about 2,800 entries you should find useful in your work – or for keeping up with your children and/or grandchildren.

Now reflect for a moment on the fact the FBI [a] had to write a limited edition field manual to explain acronyms that you can look up online – and [b] classified it so the public didn’t have access to it. Cripes, I wonder just how much this little exercise in bureaucratic nonsense cost us?

Whackiest robbery of the day

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Las Cruces Crime Stoppers is offering a $1,000 reward for information that helps identify the suspect who stole cash from a Check “N Go store Saturday morning…The robbery occurred at around 9:15 a.m…at the Check “N Go at 400 N. Telshor Blvd, according to a Las Cruces Police new release.

Detectives learned that a man posing as a landscaper walked into the business, demanded money from an employee and left with an undisclosed amount of cash. The suspect was last seen leaving the business and walking south along Telshor Boulevard.

The suspect was described as a man about 6-feet tall with a stocky build. He was wearing what appeared to be a blue jump suit, gloves, a mask and a khaki fisherman’s bucket hat. The suspect was carrying a string trimmer or more commonly referred to as a weed-whacker.

Have any info – call crimestoppers when you’re through laughing.

Normally, this would end up being the dumb crime of the day – except for the clerk at this payday lender handing over the loot!