EMT report: Gunshot wound in buttock contaminated with squirrel tissue

…Until now “gross contamination of an open wound with squirrel flesh [was] an unreported event,” as Porter W. Maerz, MD…and colleagues write in a recent case study appearing in Case Reports in Emergency Medicine.

But no more, thanks to a Florida teenager.

When EMTs arrived on the scene of the boy’s injury, they reported visible “squirrel parts” in the margin of a buckshot wound. Such wounds are not unusual, but how did the squirrel get in there?

Turns out that that the young man was attempting to dislodge a dead squirrel from an overhead branch with the butt of a loaded 12-gauge shotgun.

He apparently learned that was a nutty idea.

You may not recall that the recommended technique for catching a squirrel is — to climb a tree and make a noise like a nut! In this case, a nut with a gun.

Squirrel dinner chef sets apartment complex on fire

A Holland Township fire that heavily damaged an apartment complex was started by a resident using a propane torch to remove a squirrel’s fur, Fire Chief Jim Kohsel said.

Kohsel said the resident was using a propane torch on a deck on the third floor of Clearview Apartments when the deck caught fire about 12:29 p.m. Wednesday. The resident was removing the squirrel’s fur in preparation to eat the animal, the chief said.

Flames spread to the roof, burning it off part of the building. Kohsel said eight apartments were destroyed, and apartments on lower levels were damaged by smoke and water…

The American Red Cross arranged for temporary shelter and clothing for displaced residents.

Fire crews remained at the complex until about 6 p.m.

A world-class dumbass – discovered in Holland Township, Michigan.

Squatter squirrel

A cheeky young squirrel seems to be making it clear that this bird box is his now. Photographer Christine Haines was confronted by the juvenile grey squirrel in a nesting box in her garden in Spokane in Washington.

She says: “My husband had constructed nest boxes in our yard to attract Northern Flicker birds. One day I heard a strange noise coming from one of the boxes. I looked up and saw a young squirrel peering out. I grabbed my camera and was able to capture a few pictures with its mouth open. I believe the young squirrel was calling for its mother.”

Probably calling for MORE NUTS!

Pop goes the squirrel. School goes into lockdown. But better-safe-than-sorry… right?


Whew! It could have turned out to be something like this.

Police in Ohio said a high school was locked down for about a half hour due to the sound that resulted when a squirrel caused a transformer malfunction.

Columbus police said Brookhaven High School was locked down shortly after 8 a.m. Monday following the gunshot-like sound but the lockdown was lifted shortly after 8:30 a.m., when investigators discovered the sound was caused by the squirrel, WCMH-TV, Columbus, Ohio, reported Tuesday.

I’d hate to think what happens when some dizzy blond pops her bubble gum in class.

Life Imitates Art Dept. : “Geico Squirrel” Causes Rollover.. Or Not?

geico squirrel

Lafayette, Indiana– Two Lafayette men avoided serious injuries overnight when their car rolled over after swerving to avoid a squirrel.

According to Lafayette Police Sgt. Jay Rosen, Dylan T. Prosser, 21, Lafayette, was driving his blue Chevrolet Aveo west on Greenbush Street about 3:30 a.m. approaching 18th Street when he swerved to avoid a squirrel in his path.

The car hit the right side curb, struck a tree, rolled over and landed upside down in the 18th Street intersection, Rosen said.

Uh.. what kinds of squirrels are up at 3:30 a.m. in Indiana? I’ve sent many a squirrel to bed as darkness falls, and greeted many a squirrel at dawn, but I ain’t seen a single one on my midnight walks, ever. Enquiring minds want to know more.