New Jersey capitol [temporarily] survives toilet paper emergency

City employees are flush with relief today after officials with Mayor Tony Mack’s administration said they’d moved forward with an emergency purchase of toilet paper and paper towels as supplies dwindle in city buildings.

Meanwhile, Mack’s office announced last night it had accepted donations from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to provide a six-month supply of toilet paper…The move ends a stalemate between council and Mayor Tony Mack’s administration that has lasted since September when council first rejected the $46,000 contract over concerns about a $4,000 price tag for hot drink cups.

Stocks of toilet paper have been dwindling for weeks and are nearly depleted at City Hall and police headquarters. The emergency contract with the Pennsauken-based Amsan authorizes the city to purchase $16,000 worth of toilet paper, paper towels, and toilet-seat covers…

In a letter to Mack earlier this week, PETA offered to step in with a six-month supply of toilet paper for city buildings. The catch: it’s printed to say, “Slaughterhouses are so filthy that more than half of all meat is contaminated with fecal bacteria. Wipe cruelty from your diet. Go vegan. PETA.”

“If Trenton’s City Council cannot reach an agreement today, I have a cheeky solution that will help offset your financial troubles and call attention to public health and cruelty to animals at the same time,” PETA executive vice president Tracy Reiman wrote. “This unique bathroom reading material would help city employees consider a vegan diet, and prevent their health from going down the toilet.”

Meanwhile, Dyson is donating 15 of its Airblade hand-dryers, machines that produce 400-mile-per-hour sheets of wind that push water off hands instead of drying them with the use of a heating element.

“Using paper to dry hands can be costly and creates waste,” said James Dyson, inventor of the machines. “With Airblade, our engineers have developed a way to dry hands hygienically and efficiently.”

The company claims the machines can dry 22 pairs of hands for the cost of a single paper towel and could generate $220,000 in savings over five years.

Sounds like the City Council would probably refuse to pay the electric bill for the hand dryers, as well.

Dontcha love beancounters?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.